


Vintage Love

by orphan_account



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety, BOTTOM! BILL, Bill is on bottom, Dom!Dipper, Drunk Sex, F/M, Fingering, Fluff, Ford is mean, Highschool AU, I'm a horrible person, Insomnia, Just wait for it, Kissing, M/M, MABEL STAMP OF APPROVAL, Mabel Influence, Mabel influenza, Mabel's a good artist, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Other, Panic Attacks, Porky is involved, Rough Sex, Shirtless Bill, There's not a happy ending, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top! Dipper, Will's actually pretty nice, You're going to cry, cause we all want a shirtless bill, drunk, even Mabel thinks so, im warning you now, its so cute, mentions of anorexia, really sad ending, sub!Bill, there's a Porky, yeah...they're gonna share a bed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 02:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7135406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't force love, but you sure as hell can try ~Mabel Pines, Love Expert</p><p>Dipper Pines, your not-so-average eleventh grader, with your not-so-average twin sister. And then there's Bill Cipher who by no means is average, and neither is his twin brother. Problem is, Dipper and Bill aren't exactly on friendly terms. Not by a long shot. So Mabel and Will try to change that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lifesavers & Ice Cream

**Author's Note:**

> So um...this is my first fanfic, and I hope you guys like it so yeah...

Dipper sighed as he picked at the mashed potatoes and gravy glumly. 'School lunches utterly suck' He thought to himself.

He was currently sitting at his lunch table with his twin, Candy and Grenda, Gideon, and Pacifica Northwest. "What's wrong, Bro bro?" Mabel asked, sliding into the seat next to him, with only a bottled water and a napkin. Dipper simply shrugged, not looking away from his lunch.

Mabel snorted. "Broski, I know you seem to love these soggy, weird-smelling, glitter-needing mashed potatoes" she gestured to his lunch, "but seriously, what happened?"

Dipper frowned. "Mabel the assignment is due today." She just stared at him. "The one worth like,  seventy percent of our grade? THAT ONE THAT WE DIDN'T DO?!" Dipper reminded her.

Mabel froze and smacked her head on the table. "Oh shit, man. I completely forgot about that. Dipper!"

"I know Mabel, I did too! I just said that! Oh my god, watch me fucking die." Dipper groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"Are y'all gonna eat that?" Gideon asked pointing at Dipper's tray.

Dipper just groaned, and pushed the tray towards the white-haired. "Go nuts, man."

Gideon  took the tray and dug in. "Aw Gids, that stuff is horrible!" Pacifica said, pinching her nose.

Mabel just grinned. "It's fine, it just needs some...EDIBLE GLITT-"

"No, it really doesn't." Dipper said glaring at Mabel. "Nothing is this god-forsaken world could possibly make this gunk any better. Because it's fucking horrible."

Candy patted Dipper's shoulder. "Well said, Dipper. Very, very well said." But she was still watching the can of glitter in Mabel's hand. "By the way, you might want to take that away from her. At least seven people have been sent to the emergency room because of that stuff. Somehow, I do not think it is edible."

Mabel snorted. "They just can't handle the Mabel Influence."

"I don't think they wanted the Mabel Influence." Dipper grinned.

Mabel was about to retort, but at that second, the bell rang. She glared at Dipper. "This isn't over, Dipper-sticker."

"I don't doubt it." Dipper said lazily pushing himself up. "Watch Mrs. Mirkham kill me for this.

"Look at the bright side Dipper. At least we'll be in Hell together." Mabel grinned, and slung an arm around her brothers shoulders.

Dipper snorted at this. "I'll bet you a packet of Smile Dip that she'll give us extra time to complete it." Mabel said, grinning slyly.

Dipper eyed the hand. "I'm not touching your hand, because I have no idea where it's been, but deal."

 

____________________________________

 

"Hand em in. All of it, or none of it." Mrs. Mirkham said, glaring at the class of students. "Pull out the packet. Now."

There was a shuffle in the classroom, as students pulled their packets of paper out of their folders and binders. Dipper hunched his shoulders and looked at the ground, Mabel, who was sitting next to him, did the same."

"All right." Mrs. Mirkham said looking around the class, after she had collected the projects. "Do I have everyone's papers?"

"You didn't pick up the Pines' twins paper!" An annoyingly familiar voice called out from behind them. Dipper gritted his teeth. "Shut the fuck up, Cipher." He hissed out.

"Ooh, threatening me, Pines? You'll have to do better." Bill Cipher, annoyingest of them all, taunted.  

"Mr. Pines. Miss Pines. Stay after class. You too Mr. Cipher. All of you failed to turn this in, and will therefor result in a zero."

"No!" Dipper said frantically. "Please, please! I can do it all again, I'll do anything, just please let me redo it!" His eyes were wide with panic and he was nearly hyperventilating, and even Mabel was looking slightly panicked.

"Uh, Mrs. Mirkham, could we uhh....please be excused for a second?" Mabel asked, already halfway to the door, pulling Dipper's arm roughly.

"Of course. Go see the nurse, Mr. Pines, if you must. I'll let you redo it, but I want it back by Monday before the last bell rings." The teacher said, looking slightly concerned.

"What?" Bill said confused, looking back and forth between them. "What's going on? Why does Pine Tree have to go to the nurse?"

"None of your damn business, Cipher." Pacifica snapped, grabbing Dipper's other arm. Luckily, the teacher wasn't looking, and Mabel and Pacifica managed to get Dipper out of the classroom unnoticed by anyone else.

____________________________________

 

"I can't believe I panicked like that, Mabes." Dipper said, wrapping his arms around his knees.

"Don't worry about it Dipper." Pacifica soothed, putting a hand on his shoulder. It kind of worked, and Dipper suddenly thought that she would actually make a pretty good mom.

"And...thanks Paz. I really appreciate it. You and Mabel are always there for me."

"Well, no shit, dummy. Besides, did it ever occur to you that almost everybody hates her class? She's like...a demon almost. A demon that tortures you with papers and tests." Pacifica said grinning. It was strange. For the longest time, Pacifica and the twins had had a rivalry, but they had outgrown it when they started eighth grade, and honestly, they were the best friends Dipper could ever ask for.

"And it's not your fault, Dipstick. It's mainly Bill, he's the one that called us out on not finishing it." Mabel said, leaning her arm against his left shoulder, while Pacifica leaned hers against his right.

"And, I know you guys won't finish the packet over the weekend, so I'll just text or Snapchat you guys the answers." Pacifica said, looking at the wall in front of her.

"You're a real lifesaver, Paz." Dipper said, grinning weakly.

She just looked at him unimpressed. "You're figuring this out now?" She commented dryly.

Mabel leaned over and ruffled Pacifica's long blonde hair. "No." She said. "He was just to much of an ass to not say it before."

"Hey...." Dipper glanced at the clock that hung above the lockers in the hallway. "You guys wanna, I dunno, go to the library or something?"

"Course, broseph!" Mabel chirped, jumping up. Pacifica just shrugged. "Whatever, dork."

Dipper grinned. He stood up and was about to head in the direction of the library, when the bell rand. "Already?" Dipper frowned. "Damn, that was really fast."

"Uh, guys...we might want to get out of the way...just a suggestion here." Pacifica said, worriedly glancing down the hallways, which were quickly filling up with students from all over campus.

"Right." Dipper said. He moved towards his locker, which happened to be between Mabel's and Pacifica's. Pacifica, as it turned out, had blackmailed the principal to have a locker next to them in the beginning of the year, instead of following the alphabetical order rule, and once again, Dipper was really glad that she was hella rich.

____________________________________

"So." Grunkle Stan said as he eyed the trio wearily. "Why am I checking you out again?"

"Because I accidently fed them edible glitter and we're slowly dying of a new disease called Mabel Influenza and we want to spend the rest our short lives with our sweet Grunkle Stan who we we travel the world with and who buys us ice cream." Mabel said, making piggy eyes. Because of course, piggies were so much cuter than puppies.

Stan grunted. "Yeah, yeah. It's in the freezer. I'll check you out. Go get your stuff so you can be disappointments of society like everyone else in this hell."

Dipper grinned, and hugged his great-uncle, while Mabel managed to tackle him over with her hug, and Pacifica just grinned shyly.

"Thanks old man!" Pacifica called back, as she, Dipper and Mabel tore through the school to get their packets from Mrs. Mirkham.

When the door opened, the class got a view of three grinning teenagers, all out of breath with their hair blown back and their eyes sparkling. "We...we need...packets." Dipper panted, out of breath. "Grunkle Stan....here.....home...."

Mrs. Mirkham just frowned, but she handed them over anyways. "Goody-two shoes!" Dipper heard Bill whisper loudly. "Collecting their homework on a Friday!" The whole class snickered loudly.

Mabel turned on her heel, and walked out, but not before Dipper flipped both his middle fingers at Bill Cipher, and mouthed the words, 'fuck you, Cipher!'

Bill stared at him incredulously, and Dipper smirked and winked at him. 

 


	2. Burnt Popcorn & Bright Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a little bit of Dipper's past is revealed, and Stan chokes on popcorn :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, no Bill in this chappie, but definitely in the next

When Dipper pushed open the door, he took a deep breath. "Thank god she's letting us redo the paper." Mabel said, plopping down on the couch.

Dipper snorted. "And yet here you are, watching Ducktecctive."

"Hey, watch it kid." Stan grumbled, stretching in his recliner. "I'll have you know that Ducktective has a big mystery element and a lot of humor that goes over kids' heads."

Dipper stares at him unimpressed. "This seems mildly familiar."

Mabel threw something small and shiny at him. "Shhhh! It's starting!"

Dipper glanced down at the object that had hit him. "Mabel, this is glittery, and burnt popcorn."

"No shit. I'm not paying for your hospital bill though, sweetie." Stan said, popping one in his mouth. Then he started coughing and hacking on it. Dipper chuckled at the sight of his great uncle choking on one of his twin's weird foods.

After he somehow managed to get the popcorn out of his throat, Stan just glared at Dipper with watery eyes, and a red face, and Dipper just grinned back at him. This was just too great.

Dipper was about to open his mouth when the door swung open. He didn't need to look up to recognize the footsteps of his Great Uncle Stanford. "Hello Stanley, Mabel. Dipper." He said the last one with his lip curling in disgust.

Dipper swallowed, but didn't look up.  
"Hey Grunkle Stan...I'm going to go take a walk. I'll be back before dinner."

Stan looked up. "Isn't this sort of sudden?"

Dipper shook his head, not quite meeting Stan's eye. "I just need to clear my head of some things."

Mabel looked up worriedly. "Can I come, Bro bro?"

Dipper shook his head. "It's just a walk, and you still need to finish the show, remember? And the paper?" Mabel nodded, but he still caught the worried look on her face. "Trust me. I'll be fine."

"Yes boy, go take a walk. And Stanley, I need to talk to you." Ford said.

Dipper grabbed his hoodie and walked through the threshold onto the porch. He grabbed a Pitt Cola out of a pack sitting on the wooden porch, and took a deep gulp. When he finished, he set the can down, and walked towards the forest.

When Dipper had been twelve, Ford had put up a barrier around the woods, as to alert him whenever someone entered them. But it was worn out over time, didn't work anymore, and he doubted that Ford even remembered it.

When he passed through the barrier, Dipper took a huge sigh of relief, and sunk to the ground. It was too much. It was all way too much for him to handle. His anxiety, his Great Uncle's disapproval, the stress, all of it. He didn't know how much longer he could do keep up this facade, and keep his life going like this.

Ever since Stanford had seen what Dippers mind was capable of, he's been pushing Dipper to his limits, trying to see how smart he was. And because of this, he was expected to always get straight 100's (which he usually did), perfect behavior (which he usually did not do), and Stanford expected Dipper to go to some fancy college, which he, most certainly, did Not. Want. To do.

Don't get him wrong, he wanted to be smart, and intelligent like Stanford, he just didn't want to be exactly like Stanford wanted him to be. He wanted to have fun and hang with his friends which he couldn't do very often, because Ford always had him studying one thing or the other. It took a lot to bring Dipper Pines down, and this might not had been what it took, but it sure as hell was close.

Well...that was a long time ago. Maybe two or three years. For the last year or so, Ford barely ever talked to him, and when he did, it was snide comments about why couldn't he be more like his sister, or the other kids at his school. Dipper didn't know what was worse. Ford torturing him to the death with expectations, or being compared to others and always being brought down. Dipper was sick of it.

You'd think that his Great Uncle Ford was a man of the past, still living in the past, with the clothes he wore or the beliefs he had. Men, should always be in charge. Men, should be athletic and strong, not nerdy and with noodle arms. Men, should not be gay. And Dipper fucking hated it. He hates these stereotypes that told him what he could and could not be.

When Stanford Pines found it that Dipper Pines was gay, he had practically disowned him. They'd fought for months, Ford saying he was a disgrace to the family, with Dipper defending himself, and Mabel standing up for him. Stan had eventually gotten sick of it, and threatened to kick Ford out of the house, while defending Dipper, along with Mabel. For this, Dipper was forever grateful. After that, Stan didn't hang out with his brother nearly as much, and Mable had begun to see Ford in a new light, both of which Dipper felt guilty for.

Stanford Pines never told anyone his great nephew was gay, and neither did Dipper.

When he finally looked up, Dipper realized that the stars were shining brightly against the dark expense of the nothingness out there.

He breathed in the cool, crisp air, and laid down flat on his back in a small clearing of wet, green grass, and looked up at the night sky. He didn't think about anything, not his twin, or his other relatives, not his parents or his friends, not school, or assholes from school. Nothing.

He didn't know how much time had passed, until noticed the moon right above him. Dipper just sighed and stood up, stretching and cracking his joints. When he went to scratch his arm, he realized that his entire backside was wet. 'Just perfect', he thought snidely.

By the time he got back to the shack, Ducktective was claret over, as he could see Mabel standing on the porch searching for him with her eyes. When she say him, she wrapped her arms around him, trapping him in a bear hug. "Dip Dop!" She exclaimed, slapping his arm. " I was so freaking worried about you."

"Me?" Dipper asked confused. "Why would you be upset?"

Mabel just stared at him incredulously. "It's fucking midnight, what the hell do you think? You said you'd be back before dinner. It's a couple of hours past that, Dipdop."

Dipper's eyes widened. "Holy fuck, it's midnight? I though it was like, ten or something!"  Mabel continued staring at him, while Dipper hurried on. "I mean, I knew it was late, just not this late!"

"Mabel? Mabel sweetie, what's going on? I heard voices, is Dipper back ye-Dipper!" Grunkle Stan said, relief evident in his voice.

"Grunkle Stan, were you worried about me?" Dipper teased, nudging the old man. He just snorted. "As if. I just didn't want to have to pay the lawyers and deal with your sister if you'd been eaten."

"Mm, sure." Dipper said grinning. He grabbed a granola bar out of the kitchen and then retreated to his room. He figured he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon, and it was the weekend, so Dipper took out a blank sheet of notebook paper, wrote his name, date, and the title. And then his mind went blank.

After about ten minutes, Dipper decided to give up, and he slumped down on his bed. The mattress sagged under his weight, and he fished out his covers from the pile of junk on his floor (does anyone else like, kick their blankets off while their sleeping? Cause I do, all the time. Especially in summer).

After they turned fifteen, Dipper and Mabel had gotten new rooms. Dipper kept the attic room, and Mable took Fords room since he was barley in there anyway.

Dipper glanced through the window, which had weak moonlight shining through. He got off the bed, and sat down on the window seat, and stared out the triangular glass pane. He looked at the moon, which was bright against the dark sky, and seemed to give Dipper hope.

'I'll won't ever be like you.' Dipper swore. 'I will never be like you, Stanford Pines. I will never be like you. I will never hurt anyone just because of what I think.'

And the moon seemed to shine a little brighter after that.

 

 


	3. Cinnamon Rolls & Hummus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Cipher is an ass, and so is Dipper. And we get introduced to the cute and sweet Will Cipher :)

When Dipper got to school the next morning, he was already dreading it. And it didn't help that it was a Monday. Mabel on the other hand, was her usual cheery self. As pink and sparkly as always. Dipper thought it was horrible.  

"Hey, move it Pines." A voice said behind where Dipper was standing in front of the doors. 

Dipper gritted his teeth, but he didn't turn around. "Or what?"

"Funny Pinetree. Now get out of the goddamn way." Cipher said agitated.

Dipper smirked. "Try me." 

"Dip!" Mabel whispered. She pulled on his sleeve. "Stop it."

Bill just glared at Dipper and shoved him harshly out of the way, causing him to fall. In fact he would have, if somebody hadn't caught him.

"Fuck you, jackass!" Dipper yelled after Bill, but he was already gone.

"Are you ok?" A soft, timid voice asked. Dipper realized it was his savior, and turned around to thank him, when he realized just exactly who this person looked like. 

Dipper jumped up, and took a step backwards. "What the hell?" 

The boy smiled shyly. "I'm Will." 

"You-you look like Bill!" Dipper gasped, not coming any closer.

The boy looked down sadly. "I get that a lot. He's my twin. We're polar opposites, though." 

Dipper looked at him curiously. He didn't seem like Bill, and didn't act like him. So far, anyways. The boy had soft, baby blue hair in the exact hairstyle as Bill, and while Bill's eyes were a golden color, Will's were a pale blue. Will was a little bit paler, and he seemed softer than his brother, but those were the only physical differences that Dipper could spot. Besides the clothes, of course. 

Will was wearing a pair of blue converse with a faded baby blue sweater, despite it being May. He had on gray skinny jeans, but that was the only thing he had in common with his brother, clothes wise.

"Okay...but how come we've never seen you before?" Dipper asked, still suspicious.

"Oh, you've probably seen me, I just tend to blend in easily. I mean, I'm not distracting, am I?" Will said. He laughed softly.

Mabel cocked her head at him. "Where do you sit at lunch?" 

"Hm?" Will looked a little surprised at the question. "Oh, I usually eat in the library, where no one can find me." 

Dipper groaned. "Wrong answer, man." 

Will opened his mouth, probably about to ask, when Mabel gasped. "Aw, you poor thing. From now on, you're sitting with us at lunch." Will opened his mouth to protest, but Dipper just looked at him and shook his head. "I tried to tell you. She's the most impossible person you'll ever meet." 

"But, I don't want to intrude!" Will said, as if that would change Mabel's mind.

She just laughed. "Who cares! C'mon Will, pleeeeeeeaaaase?" 

Will thought about it for a moment, until he nodded his head. "If you're sure that I'm not taking anyone's lunch seat."

"Perfect!" Mabel declared. "Now, to welcome the newest member of our cafeteria squad, CONFETTI SHOWER!!!" She pulled an entire canister of paper confetti out, aimed it at Will, and pulled the trigger. 

Unfortunately for Dipper, who was currently standing right next to him, he also got covered in little pieces of colorful paper. "Aw, Mabel! Last time it took me four showers to get all of this out!" He turned to Will. "Welcome to Hell, Mabel style." 

Mabel snorted. "You're just weak Dipdip. WEAK!" Dipper opened his mouth to protest, but Mabel interrupted him. "WEEEAAAAKKKK!"

Will smiled, and picked up Mabel's backpack for her. "Here you go. Mabel, right?" 

She nodded. "And that's _my_ twin, Dipper." 

"Pines?" Will asked looking interested. Dipper nodded. "Yeah, why?"

Will snorted. "My brother talks about you _all_ the time." 

Dipper raised his eyebrow. "Oh yeah? What's he say?"

"Oh you know," Will said waving his hand. "Dipper Pines is such an asshole. Dipper Pines always messes everything up. I wish Dipper Pines would just go and choke on a fucking grapefruit. You know, the usual."

Dipper stared at him with an open mouth. "A...a grapefruit? What?" 

Mabel laughed. "Wow bro, he must _really_ dislike you."

Will chuckled. "You have no idea." 

Dipper's eyes were still wide, but he got up nonetheless. "Whoa, okay. That's...pretty unnerving."

Will grinned. "Okay, who's your homeroom teacher." 

"Uh...Mr. Walsh." Dipper said. "Both of us."

"Nice, let's go." Will said.He swung his own backpack over his shoulder and started walking, and Mabel and Dipper ran to catch up to him. Will nodded. "He's my second period. I have Mrs. Mirkham."

"Oh!" Mabel said. She looked like she was about to cry. "You poor, poor, thing." 

"I know right!" Will snorted. "She hates me because she claims that Bill is a nuisance, and since we're twins, I'm the same way."

"Can't blame her. Bill's annoying." Dipper muttered. Mabel elbowed him. "Ouch, Mabel!"

"Dipper, Bill's not _that_ bad." Mabel said frowning.

"That's because he doesn't try to torment you all the time." Dipper responded in a monotone voice.

"Well maybe, if you tried being his friend, he'd be yours!" Mabel argued but Dipper ignored her.

They stopped in front of a door in the building. "Well, see you guys at lunch." Will said, waving his hand. Dipper waved back, and Mabel flashed Will a huge smile. 

Dipper turned around and groaned. Every single person in the room was watching the idiot at the front of the class. "What's the asshole doing this time?" Mabel whispered, leaning over to Dipper.

He shrugged. "Probably trying to get more attention. I still can't believe he and Will are twins."

 

* * *

 

Bill looked up at the mention of his twin, but Dipper and Mabel didn't notice, and he didn't say anything. Bill decided to ignore them, and went back to talking to the group at the front of the class. 

' _Dumbasses_ ' Bill thought gleefully, as he talked to the crew of idiots crowding around him. Even though he was talking, he wasn't paying any attention to them. He just wasn't in the mood today. It was bad enough that Dipper annoyed him this morning, and he'd already woken up in a shitty mood, and hasn't had time for breakfast. In fact, he would have missed school entirely, if Will hadn't have gotten him to go. He didn't know how that boy did it. 

Throughout the entire two school periods that came before lunch, Bill Cipher had managed to get three detentions, two calls home, and numerous angry glares from numerous different people. Including the Pines twins.

By the time lunch started, he was exhausted. It wasn't easy to be this annoying and handsome at the same time, you know. Bill fished some money out of his pocket, and cut his way to the front of the lunch line. After he got a cheeseburger, cucumbers, a bag of Doritos and a water, he sat down at his table with his "friends." He hated school lunches. He would bring his own lunch, but that would mean he had to get up extra early to fix it. He knew that Will made his own lunch, but he didn't want a Will to have to make his too.

Talking about Will...what was he doing here? Bill knew that his twin usually ate in the library, and he usually avoided the cafeteria like the plague, and Bill thought he knew a couple of reasons why.

But here he was, rushing past Bill without even realizing who it was, and to the other side of the cafeteria. Bill followed him with his eyes, and when he saw where Will sat down, he nearly dropped his lunch. Will Cipher was sitting at a table with other people. That was the first thing Bill noticed. He knew his twin was a little awkward, and he didn't want to push Will to interact with others because he knew that his twin would be uncomfortable. 

But here he was sitting with other people. Bill scanned the table, and made a mental note of who was sitting there. There was the creepy white haired kid Gideon that freaked him out,  the wrestler-looking one Grenda, the rich bitch Pacifica, and the Korean girl who's name Bill couldn't remember. Then he saw a pink sweater with kittens. Bill froze. He slowly looked up at her face, and his mouth dropped open. Mabel Pines. And if Mabel Pines was there, then so was her twin. 

Bill groaned. This kid just couldn't leave him alone, could he? He always had to ruin everything for Bill, and therefore, Bill had made it his mission to make the kid's life a living hell. He wasn't sure if he was succeeding or not. All he knew was that he was the one currently in a living hell. Because of this kid.

Bill wasn't sure how long he stood there, but he wasn't hungry anymore at this point. He was going to have a little talk with Will when they got home. He wondered why Will would sit in the cafeteria in the first place. Maybe he was paired up with Dipper on a project or something? Wait no, he was in all of the kids' classes. Perfect luck, right? So maybe he was paired up with Mabel. That made sense. She wasn't in all of his classes, not in second or fifth period, and he was pretty sure that Mabel and Will were in the same fifth period class. Yeah, that was it. Bill was in that class as well, along with Dipper.

Bill was jolted out of his thoughts when the bell rang, and a loud laughter filled his ears. Bill clenched his fists, and looked out of the corner of his eye. Dipper and Will were doubled over laughing, seemingly over Mabel spilling hummus all over her face and hair. Will was leaning on Dipper, and Bill realized how happy his brother looked. He couldn't take that away from him! If his twin was happy, Bill would be ok. Eventually. He just wished it wasn't the Pines' twins.

 

* * *

 

Will had to admit, this was slightly different from what he was used to. Reading, eating, and silenced. Then he snorted to himself. Mabel Pines, silence? That was like Dipper Pines and cool. He made his way to the cafeteria, and couldn't help but be a bit excited about sitting with his new friends. He'd never had very many friends, so he didn't really know what to do.

Any worries about not knowing where to sit immediately vanished, as when he walked through the doors, Mabel Pines was standing by the door waiting for him. "There you are. Dipdip was beginning to think you'd abandoned us for the books."

"I would never do that." Will said, his shyness coming back again.

Mabel punched his shoulder lightly, and when Will turned around he made a facial expression stating that he was in extreme pain. Dipper just smirked from where he was standing in the lunch line. ' _It hurt, didn't it?_ ' He mouthed at Will, and Will nodded furiously. Dipper just grinned. 

"Well, come on already, these mashed potatoes are going to glitterate themselves.

"Glitter...ate?" 

"Yeah." Mabel said as if it were completely obvious. "Obliberate with glitter." 

She pulled him to a stand which consisted of forks, spoons, and napkins. "Grab a bunch of napkins." Mabel commanded. Will nodded, and rushed past all the people standing there, grabbed a handful of napkins, and gave them to Mabel. "What're these for?"

"The process of glitteration is long and hard, my friend." Mabel advised gravely.

Will made an understanding noise. "Ah, of course. So, where am I being forced to sit against my will?" Will snorted to himself at the pun. Against his _will_. 

"Oh yeah!" Mabel said. She grabbed his arm and pulled all the way across the cafeteria to a table surprisingly near a window wall, but still caught up in the middle. "This one." She pointed at the table, and then sat down, pulling Will down with her. 

She pointed to the white-haired creepy short kid. "That's Gideon Gleeful. He used to creep me out, but now that he's over me, he's actually a pretty good friend."

Gideon nodded at Will. "Isn't Wittle 'Ol me adorable?" He asked, flashing one of the scariest faces Will'd ever seen. Will widened his eyes, and moved to step backwards.

"Gideon!" Mabel hissed. Then she turned to Will. "He does that to everyone when they first come. Don't worry about it." Will nodded, not to sure of what to think. "Anyways, in order starting over there, those are Grenda, Candy, me, Dipdop sits here, and then Paz. Who prefers to be called Pacifica.

Will didn't look at Gideon again, Grenda shouted and pounded her fists on the table, Candy smiled shyly and blushed, Dipper wasn't back yet, and Pacifica just said. "Whatever, dork."

"Guys, guys. Okay," Mabel said standing up on her bench. "This is Will Cipher. The nicer and unjerkier version of Bill Cipher who apparently wants Dipper to choke on a fucking grapefruit."

"How do we know he's not like Bill?" Grenda asked nearly smashing the wall next to them with her fist.

"Please." Dipper said sitting down. "You think this cinnamon roll could ever be like Bill?" 

Will didn't know whether that was a compliment or not, but he went along with it. Throughout the lunch period, Mabel, Dipper and Will told embarrassing stories about their childhood, and talked about their family. Will had learned that Dipper and Mabel lives here in Gravity Falls with their Great-Uncles, or "Grunkles" which Will found pretty cool, after their parents had passed.

The highlight of the lunch period had to have been when Mabel had been trying to cover them in hummus, because they had disapproved of her glitter confetti cannon idea. She had pulled out a packet of hummus and squirted it at them. Turned out, she'd opened ot from the wrong end, and ended up with yellow gunk all in her hair. Aaand, that did it. Will fell over laughing, and leaned into Dipper. He wasn't off much better.

Dipper had actually fallen over from laughing, and was now laying on the floor laughing to his hearts content. Will joined him, and until the lunch bell rang, they made fun of Mabel for that. It felt nice to have friends to joke around with and watch them squirt hummus in their hair.

At the end of the school day, Will came to the conclusion that he'd had a pretty good time today. 

He liked to eat lunch in the library where no one could find him. Usually behind the book shelves. But today, it seemed the universe had other plans. He sat in the cafeteria with what seemed to be the most energetic girl in the whole Gravity Falls. He didn't have a doubt about that. And he's found out that Dippet wasn't as bad as Bill made him seem. He was almost a bigger dork than Will himself. And then he'd gotten to know the rest of their friends. Well, their closer ones, anyway. All in all, good day.

As Will was walking home, he realized that Bill wasn't waiting for him. He usually was, unless he had detention or he was mad at Will. And honestly, Will didn't know which one it was this time. 

His brother would probably be pissed that he was around Dipper Pines. Shoot. _Well_ , Will thought grimly, _he'll just have to suck it up_.

He was right. When Will got home, Bill was watching TV with a blank expression. Will silently closed the front door, and stood there. The air was think and awkward, and Will hated it. "Shouldn't you be doing your homwork?" Will asked, his voice cutting though the silence. 

It was a couple of seconds later, and Will wondered  if he had even heard him, until Bill stiffly said, "I don't give a fuck about homework." He didn't say anything else, but Will knew exactly what this was about. 

He sighed. "Bill, if this is about what I think it's about, then I'm sor-"

Bill cut him off. "It's not that. I'm glad you're happy, but couldn't you find somebody _else_ besides them? You know they're nothing but trouble."

"So are you." Will snapped. "But you don't see me abandoning you, do you?" Bill opened his mouth, looking guilty, but Will just shook his head. "Save it." He muttered, knowing that Bill would drop the subject.

 As predicted, Bill's mouth fell shut, but Will knew what was coming. So instead, he rushed up to his room, and locked himself in. Will's door was never locked unless he was very upset, and Bill was the only one in the house.

A couple of hours later, and it was pitch black outside. No moon, and the clouds were covering up the stars. Will lay in bed wondering what was going to happen tomorrow. He just wished that Bill and Dipper could just get along somehow. He closed his eyes, and his breathing evened out, a little before a bright light streaked across the sky, showing that the wish had been heard, and a certain shooting star was going to fix this.


	4. Chocolate Chips & Terrifying Cats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bill sees the Pines family over the weekend, Will nearly dies of hunger and Ford learns not to question Lazy Susan and her cats :)

"Get...up...." Will groaned, trying to shove his twin brother out of bed. Trying. "I'm fucking hungry, and you have to work." He grabbed Bill's leg and proceeded to pull him off the bed. He successfully did, along with the blanket, but Bill just curled up on the wooden floor groaning.

"Fuck off Will, it's like, five in the morning."

Will stared at him incredulously. "It's ten o' clock. And Susan'll fire you this time."

"No she won't." Bill muttered as he pulled the blanket over his body. "I'm the only person who'll listen to her talk about her goddamn cats. And she loves me! She wouldn't fire me."

Will rolled his eyes. It was true. Bill was the only person he had ever met that would listen to the woman drone on and on about her cats. But Will suspected it was because Bill always got paid extra for that, and he never really did get bored. "But I'm hungry. You wouldn't really let me starve, would you?" Will looked at him with those eyes. Oh god, those eyes.

Bill turned over and looked at his twin. "First of all, I'll have you know that you can go three weeks without food, and secondly, get off of my blanket or I will kick you where the sun don't shine."

Will raised his hands in mock surrender and stepped backwards. Bill huffed and stood up. He sighed. "Ten minutes." Will nodded and stepped in his own room to get dressed. 

And true to his word, ten minutes later they standing outside by the front door, and breathing in the cool morning air. Bill gripped his jacket in one hand and closed the door  with the other. "Come on little brother."

Will frowned at that. "By three and a half minutes."

"But still." Bill said locking the door. He started walking, and his twin joined him. By the time they got to Greasy's Diner, Will stomach had protested several times. Bill had laughed at his brother for that and got a scowl in return.

"Billy! How nice of you to come in. Late. Again." The waitress standing at the counter hissed. 

Bill laughed awkwardly. "Sorry, uh..." He turned to Will. "What's her name again?"

The waitress, who had obviously heard him glared at Bill and muttered under her breath. "I don't see why she doesn't fire you."

Bill just grinned at that, showing off his teeth that seemed to be too sharp to be human. The woman rolled her eyes and went back to muttering about Bill. Will sat down at a window booth and sighed, looking up at Bill. He just grabbed the extra apron that so conveniently happened to be placed there. He put it around his neck, at down across from Will and grinned again. "Order please?"

Will smiled at that. "Chocolate-chip pancakes with chocolate milk." 

Bill mock-groaned. "Again? You need to be a little more adventurous, little bro."

Will snorted. "If by adventurous, you mean letting loose an entire swarm of bees in the school, then nah. I'm fine."

Bill frowned. "Hey, that was one time." Will glanced at him. "Okay, so it was twice. But so?  The teacher deserved it for giving me a C in her class."

Will chuckled. "That's because you didn't do anything." He reminded his brother.

Bill just shrugged. "I'll have your order in a few." 

Will smiled at him gratefully, and stared out the window as soon as his brother left to get the food. "Stanny!" He heard a voice say, and he turned around.

Lazy Susan, the main waitress in the diner was standimg by the door with Stanley Pines, and if that didn't make you laugh, then he didn't know what did. Will had met Stan once before, and had seen him around time a couple of times, and he had to say, that this old man was a riot. He was constantly pick-pocketing others and always got in trouble. Wait. If Stan was here, that had to mean that-

"WILL!" He had a split seconds warning, before he was knocked to the ground by none other than Mabel Pines. She was wearing an old pink sweater with a shooting star on it, and a pair of purple shorts. 

"Mabel sweetie, be careful. I'm not paying for anyone's hospital bill." Stan called out, glancing over at his great-niece. Mabel have a thumbs up in return, and Stan nodded.

"Mabel, do you have to kill somebody everything we come here?" Dipper asked walking over. 

"Psh, he's not dead." Mabel frowned at the body on the floor. "I think." She nudged him with her foot. "Hey! Hey Will! You alive, or...?" 

Will groaned, and sat up, glaring at the girl. She laughed guiltily. "Sorry. I just got excited."

"I can tell." Will said holding his head. "But don't worry, it's fine."

"You sure?" Mabel asked worriedly. 

"Yeah man, she hit you pretty hard." Dipper said kneeling down and looking concerned. Will noticed that he was wearing glasses.

The blue-haired boy nodded. "I swear, I'm fine."

"Hey Will! Get over here!" A voice yelled from behind the counter. 

Mabel looked up at the blonde boy behind the counter who obviously hadn't seen her yet. "Is that who I think it is?" Mabel asked squinting.

"Yup." Dipper said sighing and rubbing his temples. "It's the guy who wants me to choke on a fucking grapefruit. Oh man, it's way too early to deal with this." 

"WILL!" Bill yelled again. He still didn't look up from whatever he was doing. 

Will sighed and helped Dipper up off the ground. "My brother needs me for something, but I'll be back, alright? And..." He glanced at Dipper grinning. "Try _not_ to piss him off. He'll probably get fired. I'm just surprised it hasn't happened yet."

Mabel nodded proudly. "Don't worry, Will. I'll make sure my little bro over here doesn't mess anything up." She put her hands on her hips, and flashed a bright smile.

Will grinned at her. "You might want to be careful. That brother of yours is always getting into trouble." He winked.

Dipper groaned and Mabel just laughed. "You have no idea. One time in fifth grade, he didn't want to take a test, so as soon as he walked into the classroom he stapled his hand and told the teach-"

"Alright." Dipper said scowling. He pushed Will towards the counter where his brother was waiting and he didn't notice Bill's mouth drop open at the sight of him and his brother, or if he did, he didn't react. "Time for you to leave."

"Don't worry!" Mabel yelled out from behind him. "I'll tell you more embarrassing Dipper stories later!"

"No." Dipper said turning around, "You won't. Bye bye." He said, shooing Will away, and he heard Mabel's cackling in the background.

Will laughed and hurried over to his brother, sitting down on one of the stools at the counter, across from Bill. "What is it?"

Bill's mouth was still open and he just gaped at Will. "You-Your f-food is...is done." 

Will grinned and took in his brothers expression, knowing that this didn't happen often. "Is something the matter, brother dearest?" He still didn't answer. Will just shrugged and took a bite out of the still warm chocolate-chip pancakes. He eyed his brother and smirked. "You want a bite?"

"Fuck off." Bill said finally regaining his voice. "If I want some of yours I'll take it with or without your consent. Preferably without." 

Will laughed at his brothers tactics, before a voice rang out that made Bill stiffen. "Bill! My cats wanted to come today and they wanted to say hi to you!" Bill visibly gulped and turned around, a terrified smile plastered across his face.

Will saw Dipper and Mabel watching with curious eyes. "Hey Susan." Will said, waving a hand.

"Will!" She said delighted. "Mr. Cat-Face, say hi." She said holding up her cat. Said cat then proceeded to try to escape and scratch her arms, which only made Lazy Susan frown. "Ow, Mr. Cat-Face! Say hi to the Cipher Twins! Ow, _Mr. Cat-Face!_ " 

"I...I'm being paid for this, right?" Bill asked, frozen in place. It was no secret to Will that Bill didn't like cats. At all. It was hilarious.

"Of cour-Why Stan! Mr. Cat-Face wanted to say hi to you too!"

Will looked behind him to see Bill let it a sigh of relief, and for Stan Pines to turn pale and try to back away. "Haha, you know what? I'm old, and my bladder doesn't work the way it used to, I'm going to go use the bathroom. And then leave without paying." 

Stan turned and fled behind the booth and Mabel let out a laugh. "Every time she brings her cat. I swear, he's terrified of them."

"He's not the only one." Will said, gesturing to his twin. Bill was still trying to regain himself and kept looking at the cat.

"What's so bad about her cats?" The other man asked. Will recognized his as Stanford Pines. 

"Do not ask." Stan hissed from where he was hiding behind the booth.

Ford looked up confused. "I don't see how it could be that bad." 

"Hey Lazy Susan! Could you introduce your cat to my Great-Uncle, please?" Dipper asked, and Will senses a certain smugness in his voice.

"Why of course, and don't worry kids. It's on the house." She blinked slowly with her one eye. "Wink!" For a second Ford looked a little worried, but it quickly passed.

"Well, Mr. Stan's Brother, this is Mr. Cat-Face, and then there's Mr. Whiskers, and there's Miss Meowington, and then there's Sir Pawsley-

Mabel cut her off. "I helped name them!" She chimed in cheerfully, digging into the chocolate pancakes.

"Yes." Lazy Susan agreed. "And Lady Kitten-Face, and then there's Cat McMouse, he has bladder problems like Stanley," Will choked at this. "And there's one more. What's his name?"

"His name is Squishy McSquishyFace." Bill said grinning, showing up next to Lazy Susan and Will.

Dipper groaned and put his head on the table and Bill smirked. Stanford saw this, and looked at his great-nephew with his eyes narrowed. "Who might you be?" His tone was polite, but sounded forced.

' _Geez_ ' Bill thought. ' _He could be a little more enthusiastic. How is he related to Star?'_ "I'm Bill. I work here." 

"And do you know my nephew?" He asked, eyes still narrowed, though this time it was at Bill.

"We go to their school." Will said standing up next to his brother.

"Yeah!" Mabel said, chocolate smeared across her face from the pancakes. "Will's our friend. Bill our not-friend."

Bill rolled his eyes and Will smiled slightly. "We're in the same fifth period class, sir."

"Dipper?" The man said frowning.

Dipper sighed and was about to open his mouth when Stanley put his hand on Ford's shoulder. "Leave the kid alone, Pointdexter."

 Ford looked like he wanted to argue, but he kept his mouth closed, a sour look on his face. "Hey Bill!" Mabel exclaimed from behind him.

"What?" Bill asked, sounding irritated.

Mabel grinned slyly. "Can I have more pancakes?"

Bill gave her a blank look. "That'll be $5.75, plus tax."

Mabel groaned and Dipper leaned over to whisper in her ear. Will couldn't exactly hear what they were saying, but from the looks on their faces, it couldn't be good. Bill had obviously also come to this conclusion, as he began backing away.

"Pleeaassee? If you don't, I'll cry, and you don't want to make a paying costumer cry, do you?" Mabel sniffed, and then she revealed her secret weapon. _The eyes._ She widened her eyes and stuck out her bottom lip and Will and to admit it was one of the most terrifying things he'd ever seen. Bill gulped and turned around, but found it blocked by the cat.

"Aw, come on Bill. Don't make my sister cry." Dipper said smirking. 

Bill gritted his teeth. "Fine. But don't come complaining when you have to go to the hospital for food poisoning." He walked back towards the kitchens, carefully side-stepping the cat.

"Mabel, sweetie, I'm so proud of you." Stan said ruffling her hair, and Mabel grinned proudly. "And you too, shortstack," Stan said ruffling the cap on Dipper's head.  

"Alright." Bill said setting down a plate in front of Mabel with a suspiciously happy expression on his face. "Dig in." Then he turned to Stan. "That'll be $5.75 plus tax."

"Alright." Stan said leaning back. "I got this." He turned to his twin. "You heard the kid, Ford. $5.75 plus tax, pay up."

Dipper rolled his eyes, Mabel had chocolate smeared all over her face, Will chuckled and Bill had no expression on his face, Stan looked triumphant, and Ford looked furious. He pulled out his wallet and grabbed two fives and handed them to Bill. "Keep the change." He muttered. As soon as Bill left, Stanford's voice rang out. "STANLEY! YOU CAN'T ALWAYS MAKE _ME_ PAY!" He stomped out the door, with his twin following while laughing to himself. Mabel followed them, still chewing, with chocolate still on her face.

Will turned around and finished eating and Dipper slid into the seat next to him. "Hey."

"Hey." Will said, mouth full.

Dipper laughed. "Well, it was nice seeing you here." He got up and made a move to leave. 

"Wait!" Will blurted out, swallowing the last of his food. Dipper turned around and looked at him. "Um...maybe you and Mabel could like...come over sometime?" Will looked at the ground embarrassed.

"Course." Dipper grabbed a napkin from the counter and pulled a pen out of his pocket. He scribbled something down on the napkin and handed it to Will. "My number and Mabel's. Just text us." 

Will nodded gratefully. "See ya."

Dipper waved and walked out to his family. "He's an asshole." Bill said leaning on his elbows across from Will. 

Will grinned to himself mentally. "I don't know, I mean he's pretty nice. And good-looking." Bill's mouth dropped open and he stared at his twin incredulously. Will burst out laughing. "I'm kidding Bill! He's just a friend." 

Bill let out a sigh of relief. "Thank god. And besides, I think you'd look better with the other twin." He winked at Will. "If you know what I mean." 

This time it was Will's turn to gape. "Are you serious right now?

Bill shrugged. "Not really. I think you'd look better with sparkles."

Will smirked. "Well personally, I think you'd look better with more Pinetrees."

Bill stopped. "What?" Will grinned, but didn't say anything. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Bill asked, shaking Will's shoulders, but he just winked. He got up and left, leaving Bill to stare at his back with his mouth still open. Will  congratulated himself and patted himself on the back. 'A job well done' He thought triumphantly.

"BILLY!" Lazy Susan's voice rang out. "COULD YOU WATCH MR. CAT-FACE FOR A FEW MINUTES?" 

Bill groaned miserably, and buried his head in his arms. "Why me?" 

Will laughed and patted his twin on the back. "Go get em, bro."

Bill glared at him. "I hate you. I hope you know that. You're also not getting anything of mine when I die."

Will mock-sighed. "Why would I want anything of yours? My stuff is much better."

Bill snorted. "Says the book nerd."

"Hey!" Will exclaimed. "Books are great!"

Now it was Bill who patted Will's shoulder. "Sure. Whatever sinks your boat." He walked off towards Lazy Susan.

Will just watched him go, and frowned. "He really would look better with more Pinetrees."

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Bedazzled Watermelons & Blue-Haired Horses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Will is a horse, Mabel gets stepped over, and Dipper had no fucking clue what's even going on, and there is a bedazzled watermelon mentioned :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YESSS; thank you guys so much for all the kudos and comments, they literally make my day to see that someone took time to write them, and click that tiny (not so tiny) button! I love you all❤️
> 
> And happy 4th of July to all Americans, even though I'm technically mostly German. That doesn't stop the love of funnel cake and fireworks though

Dipper sighed inwardly as he watched his sister's mouth running a hundred miles per minute. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night, and he really hated Monday's, and he honestly couldn't care less about the sleepy pover Mabel was having with Candy and Grenda the next weekend. 

  
"You need to tie your shoelace, you're going  to trip, and yeah, Mabes, that's great and all, but can we actually talk about something interesting?" Dipper asked sighing. 

  
"Psh," Mabel snorted, ignoring Dipper's warning. "Like what, your love life?"

  
"At least it's more interesting than whatever you're talking about!" Dipper countered. 

  
"Well, you're not wrong there." Pacifica said watching the twins. "You have one of the most twisted love lives I've ever even heard of."

  
"Oh my God!" Mabel said suddenly, turning to Pacifica. "Do you remember Jennifer? Oh god, sorry Dipper, but she was horrible! Man, she was practically a stalker. I'm so glad she moved away."

  
"She was not horrible!" Dipper argued, blushing. "She was just...different."

  
"Dipdip. You're different. She was on another radar, that went-" Mabel mimicked blowing something up.

  
"Yes!" Pacifica laughed. "When she asked why there was a badazzeled watermelon in the fridge with a smiley face in rainbow scratch-n-sniff stickers?"

  
Mabel broke down laughing. "And we told her it was to scare off the men eating of our trash!" 

  
"Yeah." Dipper scowled, watching the females laugh. "She never came back after that."

  
"Okay, okay." Pacifica said leaning on the locker, composing herself. "Alright, we're good. Sorry Dipper but..." She trailed off and winced.

  
"Yeah!" Mabel chirped, getting back up. "It's not your fault that you're really untalented at life." She bit her lip and her whole body shook. At first Dipper thought that she was crying, but then she dissolved into another fit of laughter, and took Pacifica down with her. Dipper rolled his eyes, and walked down the hallway, into homeroom. 

  
"Wait wait! I'm actually sorry this ti-WAH!" At the last second, Mabel managed to trip over her shoelace, and she fell face-first to the ground. She stuck a thumbs up in the air. "M'good!" Her reply was muffled from under a thick curtain of of brown hair. 

  
She was about to get up, when someone passed by, stepped right over her stomach without touching her, and continued walking. "RUDE!" Mabel yelled after the blonde boy as he smirked. Pacifica's gaze followed his back as he was walking.

  
"WATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT?" He yelled back, shouldering Dipper as he passed.   
"Jerk!" Dipper yelled at him, and Bill tapped his chin thoughtfully. 

  
"I don't think I've heard that one yet. Bitch." He remarked and stepped into the classroom. 

"Hey." Dipper jumped as he saw the blue haired boy seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

  
"Will! Oh my god, I didn't see you." Dipper said, pressing a hand to his heart to make sure it was still beating. "Fucking hell." He muttered to himself, his heart still beating fairly quickly.

  
"Hey." Pacifica said, still watching Bill.

  
"Are you alright?" Will asked, helping Mabel up. 

  
She hummed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Can't say the same to Dipper though." She gestured to Dipper who was now angrily muttering and rubbing his shoulder, and Will cracked a grin.

   
"Bell's going to ring." He said smiling at Mabel shyly, but she didn't notice. 

  
She dusted herself off, and pointed her arm towards the classroom. "ONWARDS, NOBLE STEED!" 

  
"Mabel, he's not a horse." Pacifica said, finally breaking her gaze. Mabel didn't listen, and instead, stuck her tongue out at Paz. "Oh my god, that is so immature." 

  
When Dipper walked into the classroom and saw Bill watching him intently and smirking, he groaned. This was not going to be a good day. 

 

 

 

 

> * * *

   
By the time the school day was nearly over, Dipper concluded that he had been right, and it hadn't been a good day. It wasn't exactly a bad day per day, but it hadn't been good either. It was just...meh.

  
Dipper stared out of he window of his last class longingly and was completely ignoring the teacher as she was going on and on about something he honestly couldn't care less about. God, how he just wanted the bell to just fucking ring. All he wanted, was to go home, eat some of that ice cream, and watch Ducktective. But noooooo. Instead, he was here is this hell hole, surrounded by morons who didn't have a clue what they were doing. Which was currently being demonstrated when some random kid who nearly flipped the pencil off his desk and managed to hit another one in the forehead. 

  
"Pines!" Dipper nearly jumped when he heard his name. 

  
"Wha-yes! I'm here; I'm here."

  
The woman at the front of the class was looking at him disapprovingly. "Mr. Pines, did you hear a word I said?"

  
"Uhh..." Dipper tried to remember what she had been saying, but his mind drew a blank. He looked over at his sister despairingly, but when she mouthed something to him, he was fully incapable of understanding, and Will, who was sitting next to them, just shrugged. He still found it pretty weird how Will had always been in this class, and Dipper had just never noticed. "No."

  
She just shook her head. "I was saying," she emphasized, "that soon we're going to have a group project due soon. I'll assign you partners next week, and no Mr. Cipher, the gum does not go under the desk." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose with her her fingers. "I hate my job."

  
"You're not the only one." Dipper muttered, glancing back at the window. 

  
Mabel grinned at that, and punched him in the arm. "Well said."

  
Dipper hissed and rubbed at the already-bruised spot. "Why do people keep hurting my shoulder today, I'm not that bad of a person!"

  
By the time the bell did ring, Dipper was convinced that the gods hated him, because he'd been the last one out of the classroom because of all the shoving out the door. Luckily for him, Will, Mabel and Paz had waited for him outside the door. Unluckily, Bill was also there, talking to Will and looking worried. Dipper snorted to himself. ' _Maybe he'll choke on a grapefruit. Serves him right'_ he thought snidely, shouldering Bill on his way out. "SEE YA TOMORROW, WILLY WONKA!" Mabel shouted at Will as she and Pacifica caught up with him. 

  
He managed to get out of the building before the other two females, and sat down on the curb, waiting for them. He looked up at the sky, and grinned. He didn't know why but he was just really immensely happy at the moment. The sun shone down on his face, temporarily blinding him, but it was pretty nonetheless. Dipper laughed and laid his back down on the concrete. "Watcha lookin at, Pinetree?"

  
For a second, he felt like telling the blond to fuck off, but he was in a good mood, so instead Dipper looked at the blond who was standing right behind him and grinned mentally. Bill wouldn't get under his skin this time, and he would make sure of that. "Oh y'know. The sky, clouds, blinding myself. The usual."

  
"Um, okay." Bill said, taking a step backwards. "By the way, tell Star that much glitter isn't healthy." He walked off, with both middle fingers in the air. 

  
"I admire your persistence!" Dipper called after him, still grinning to himself. For a second, Bill actually paused, but then he snorted. "Fuck you!"

  
"You wish." Dipper retaliated, watching the sky.

  
"Hell yeah I do." Bill muttered under his breath. 

  
"What was that?" Dipper asked, breaking his gaze. 

  
Bill just laughed hastily. "Nothing; nothing. Ruin your life later!"  

  
Dipper watched his retreating back, until Mabel sat down next to him. "Paz and Will left."

  
Dipper hummed in response. "Will wants to come over."

  
Mabel looked excited. "Really! Oh my god, we can have a sleepover party with you actually being the unawkward one for once, and we can do makeovers, and watch movies and MAKE MABEL JUICE! Poor poor Will, I don't think he even knows the recipe!" Mabel looked a little worried at the last thought, but Dipper just ignored it.

  
"Yeah, either he comes over, or we come over. I gave him our numbers."

  
"Mine too?" Mabel asked, knitting her brows.

  
"Yeah." Dipper said turning to face her. The sun felt warm on his natural Californian-tanned skin. "Why?"

  
"No reason." She said quickly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

  
"Uh huh." But that was all he said, even if he didn't believe her. "So, we gonna let him know he can come over or what?"

  
"Yeah, I'll tell him tomorrow." Mabel said laying down next to her twin. "This is really nice. Laying here in the sun with you, I mean."

  
Dipper nodded, but didn't say anything. He'd been so glad when his parents had said they could stay in Gravity Falls since their first summer here, and both he and Mabel had jumped at the opportunity to live and go to school in Gravity Falls. Dipper couldn't imagine going back to Piedmont after this. This was home now.  
   
"Hey Mabes?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever think that maybe we could like, change the world for the better?"

Mabel hummed and watched the clouds pass overhead. "Sometimes. I like to think that it's still possible for the world to be saved, and I'll be helping."

"Yeah."

"Hey Dipdip?"

"Mmh."

"I love you, bro bro."

"I love you too, Mabel Syrup."

Mabel grinned at her brother, and he grinned right back. "Want to go eat all of he ice cream before Grunkle Stan does?"

Dipper laughed. "Is that even a question?"

"Just making sure."

Dipper smiled at his sisters antics and stretched. "But honestly, I'm fine with this too."

"Dipper Pines, get your lazy ass up." Mabel hauled her twin to his feet and he smiled gratefully at her. 

"Yeah...lets go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone else feel like Ford would be super unsupportive with Dipper and Bill's relationship? Even if Bill was human? I mean, he went into the portal when gay relationships were like, still taboo, and everyone was against them (I squeal every time I see a gay couple, and I'm just like SHIP, SHIP, SHIP!!),
> 
> So, of course if back then, Ford was against gays, then he probably still is. Or, if he did like Bill when they were still partners, he'd be jealous of Dipper and Bill's relationship. I feel like either way, he wouldn't be happy. Anyone else feel like this?....no...anyone? 
> 
> *points to random person* WHYYYY


	6. Foreheads & Chewed-up Pencils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dipper and Bill both get in trouble, Mabel and Will are pissed and Pacifca...doesn't really care because she's Pacifica and never worries and is hella rich :)
> 
> AND OH MY GOD, NEARLY 100 KUDOS ON THIS WORK AND KEEP YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER??? WHAT! Thank you SO much. Also, the porky story is actually true. It happened to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so turns out that eating too much funnel cake on an empty stomache will cause you to throw up like...a lot. I learned that. I will also make sure not to eat three plates of funnel cake in under ten minutes, because I do not feel like throwing up again.  
> Lesson: Don't eat three plates of funnel cake in ten minutes, you'll puke

 

_Tick...tock..._

_tick...tock..._

_tick...tock..._

Dipper growled and threw his book on the floor. Bill looked up him annoyed, but Dipper ignored him. After all, it was mainly Bill's fault they were in this mess after all. If he could've just kept his nose in his own business, then they could've been home, but noooo. Bill just had to be an asshole. Dipper hadn't even done anything! He _never_ did anything to get in trouble, especially not to get detention! Why didn't anybody realize that?

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Goddamn it Bill!" Dipper scowled, as Bill bumped into him on the hallway. "Watch where you're going!"

"I didn't mean to, but the fact that it pissed you off was worth it." Bill sneered, pushing past Dipper. 

"Excuse me?" Dipper asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Dipper, just let it go." Mabel whispered.

"You heard me." Bill said, standing up taller. "And why don't you listen to your sister. I mean, it'd be a real shame if you hurt yourself, wouldn't it?"

"Dipper Pines." Mabel said narrowing her eyes, knowing exactly what her twin was thinking.  "Don't you dare."

Dipper swallowed down the anger that was boiling inside of him. It was bad enough that his family thought he was weak, Mabel excluded of course. He didn't need the entire school thinking it too. "Why do you have to be such an asshole all the time?" Dipper growled, glaring at Bill, and Bill glared right back at him.

Will frowned at the scene. "Don't do it Bill." He warned, shaking his head. Bill snorted.

Dipper Pines, seventeen years old, and half a foot shorter than Bill, but that didn't stop him nonetheless. Had curly chocolate hair with fierce eyes the color of mocha. Had Californian-tanned skin, and very little acne. Always wore a necklace with a Pine Tree, never explained why. Wasn't unpopular, but wasn't popular. Had been bullied when he was younger. Had a great uncle as a conman who was banned from numerous states, and a second great uncle declared as a scientific genius with twelve PhD's. Had a twin sister obsessed with ice cream, glitter, pigs, and glittery pigs eating ice cream. Left his parents. Had insomnia and anxiety, but he's never let anyone know, only his closest friends knew. Had many friends, and now three best friends. Had a Big Dipper birthmark on his forehead, and moved to Gravity Falls when he was twelve years old. Was a sarcastic asshole at times (notice, _at_ _times_ ), and sleep deprived the rest. Loved the Supernatural, and was loved by the Supernatural. Horrible procrastinator with a violent fear of failure. Planned on getting into the best college in the country. Hated Bill Cipher.

Bill Cipher, also seventeen years old and half a foot taller than Dipper, which he used to his advantage. Most popular kid in the school. Had ruffled blonde hair and eyes nearly the color of molten gold. Had tan skin with absolutely no acne whatsoever. Was never bullied, was always the bully. Lived on his own with his bother in a huge house that was always lonely. Had a dead mother, and a father overseas who'd never bothered to check up on his children, but no one knew that of course. Had a twin brother who was literally the sweetest thing on the planet. Always hung with the popular crowd, didn't have any true friends, but never let it show. Had lived in Gravity Falls his whole life, and was practically always annoying to everyone around him. Had horrible jokes, and even worse puns. Would never admit it, but cared about his grades and wanted to get into a good college so his brother wouldn't be disappointed. Hated Dipper Pines.

"Bill Cipher, if you even think about it, I will fucking disown you!" Will said raising his voice, the worry evident.

"Dipper." Mabel hissed. She grabbed Dipper's arm, and dragged him along the hallway, her nails digging into his arms. "Do I have to tell you everything twice? I can't believe you're this fucking stubborn, let it go already!"

Dipper gritted his teeth and yanked his arm out of Mabel's grip. "I'm not a kid Mabel! I can handle this myself!" 

"Yes." Mabel snapped. "This. But not the consequences. Do you have any idea how pissed Ford will be?"

Dipper growled. "Ford can go and fuck himself."

"You say that now, but I bet you couldn't say that to his face." Mabel spat.

Dipper ignored her, and stepped up right in front of Bill. "Try me, blondie."

Bill growled, and shoved Dipper away, causing him to land on the floor. But not before he grabbed Bill's leg, taking him down with him. "Fucker." Bill hissed, kicking Dipper's leg hard.

Dipper swung his fist at Bill, and a loud crack echoed around the hallway. Dipper heard gasps and cheers around them, and froze. He'd completely forgotten that there were other people surrounding them. He slowly backed up and put his head in his hands and whimpered. "Shit."

Whek Dipper lifted his head, he saw Bill glaring at him with hatred in his horribly attractive golden eyes, and he could see a _huge_ bruise starting to form around his jaw. Dipper smirked triumphantly. ' _Any punishment will be so worth it.'_

"PINES!" Dipper's heart sank. Well, maybe not any punishment. "And you!" The horribly dressed and ever-grumpy vice principal jabbed his thick, sausage-like fingers at Bill. "With me, now!"

Dipper was hauled to his feet by his twin, and she poked him in the chest angrily. "I will not tell Ford about this, in fact _you're_ going to tell him, and you better make it good, because I'm not going to back you up this time." 

Dipper groamed, and held his head in his hands. "I know Mabes. I know, I'll tell him later-" 

"No." The beefy man interrupted. Dipper decided to officially call him Porky. "You're going to tell your guardian in a few minutes actually, because you'll be calling home. And I'll be watching you, and I'm willing to bet that they'll disappointed."

Dipper had the decency to snort. "You think it's funny, boy?" The man said angrily, reminding Dipper of a movie he's once seen with a troll looking quite like the vice principal. 

"No sir, I just think that Stan would be really proud of me." Dipper said smirking, looking the man in the face.

Porky spluttered meaningless words, his face contorting into an ugly purple, and shoved Dipper towards the Principal's office. He also noticed how Bill had attempted to flee the scene, before getting caught by his twin. "Will!" Bill hissed. "What are you doing?"

"I told you not to, but did you listen? No! You never listen!" Will said angrily. "You deserve what you get Bill." Bill looked desperate for a second, before Porky managed to get him in the office too.

"This is all your fault!" Bill hissed at Dipper as they were herded through the door.

"Is not." Dipper spat back, sitting down in a chair. Bill sat in the other one and crossed his arms without replying to Dipper. He picked up a pencil off the desk and started playing with it.

Porky rubbed his temples and sat down in a hideous puke-green chair behind the desk. "Alright. Who goes first?" Dipper didn't move, and neither did the blonde. "Well?" Again, nothing. "Pines goes first."

"What!" Dipper protested, standing up, but he immediately sat back down as he heard the dialing.

Porky looked at him without any pity. "Put it on speaker." Dipper did as he was told, swallowing.

"Hello? Who the hell are you, and what do you  want?" Stan's voice blared through the speaker for all three people in the room to hear and Dipper breathed a sigh of relief.

"Is this Stanley Pines?" Porky asked annoyed.

"Depends. Are you a smokin hot lady, or some dumb government official?"

Bill nearly choked on the pencil he was currently chewing on, and Dipper didn't bother to hide his grin. He could always count on his conman of a great uncle. "It's me, Grunkle Stan."

"Oh!" Stan said sounding disappointed. "Well what do you want kid? You want me to pick you up? You have to wait until I'm done watching this movie. It's almost as great as Ducktective! It's called The Duchess Approves. It's just like my life!"

"Mr. Pines!" Porky interrupted. "Your great nephew was involved in a fight today."

"What?!" Stan said disbelieving. "You're kidding! Wait, really? Dipper!" 

"Yes." Porky continued. "He punched another student-"

"Seriously? I'm so proud of you kid. What'd you do? Who was it?"

"A student by the name of Bill Cipher, and-"

Dipper laughed. "It was Bill, and I just um, punched him in the face, and-"

"That asshole? Good job! What happened after?"

"Um, after that, Porky-" Dipper caught the vice principals purple-faced glare, and coughed. "I meant the vice principal came. And...that's all. And could you like...not tell Ford? Please?"

"When you get home, we're all going out to eat, I don't care what Ford says, that motherfucker spends all his time downstairs anyway. I'm so proud right now. I see that I raised you right. And I won't tell him."

Bill was now looking at phone incredulously.

Dipper grinned. "See? He's fine with it."

"Hell yeah I am!" Stan's voice said cheerfully through the tiny speaker.

Porky ended the call, and put his head in his hands. He pointed at Bill. "Your turn. Call your parents."

"My parents are dead." Bill said uncomfortably.

"Your father is very alive, the last time I checked." Dipper looked up in interest.

"He never answers any calls." Bill replied in a monotone. 

Porky narrowed his eyes. "That's impossible. Who takes care of you?"

"I do." Bill spat. "Can we please not talk about this right now?? Or like, ever again?" He shifted back into the chair, his face emotionless.

"Well, you have to call someone. Who's the closest parental figure you have?"

"My brother." Bill mumbled, without looking up.

"And besides that?" Porky was seriously starting to look agitated.

Bill sighed and picked up the phone. He started dialing some numbers on the phone that Dipper couldn't see, and when he heard the dial tone he started to feel uneasy. Maybe it would be better if Will came over to their house instead of them to his?

"Why, hello other person!" Lazy Susan's voice floated through the room. Both Dipper and Porky stared at Bill in disbelief. He looked away, an angry red crawling up his cheeks.

"Hey." Bill muttered embarrassed. 

"Bill!" Susan said. "What're you calling for? You never call!"

"I just uh...wanted to let you know...that I um...gotinafight." He said the last part so fast that Dipepr barely understood him. 

"You...gutted a kite? Oh my!" 

Bill cracked a smile. "No, I...got in a fight."

"Aw, my little Billy's all grown up! That's so sweet! What was it about? Was it about cats? It was about cats, wasn't it?"

"Um yeah. It was about cats. And yarn. There was definitely yellow yarn involved." Bill quickly hung up before she could answer. "There." He said annoyed, glancing at Porky. "I told her. Happy?"

"Not necessarily." Porky muttered under his breath. "You two, stay in here and work it out before school ends in fifteen minutes. And then detention. Got it?"

"Yup." Bill said, placing a newly-chewed pencil on the desk. Porky gritted his teeth and turned to Dipper, who just nodded. 

"Good." He left the office and Dipper and Bill were left alone.

Neither of them said anything or several seconds. Eventually the awkward seconds turned to minutes and Dipper sighed loudly, blowing his bangs out of his face, quickly revealing his birthmark. Dipper quickly patted his hair back down in a panic, remembering that almost no one knew he had a birthmark. He sat back down relieved when he realized that Bill hadn't seen it.

"What was that?" ' _Well shit_.' Bill's voice cut through the heavy and awkward silence of the room.

Dipper froze. "What was what?" He asked, his voice sounding strangled, but still hoping desperately that it sounded innocent.

"There was something on your forehead." Bill stated.

"Um, no there's not." Dipper knew he was a horrible liar, but that sure as hell didn't stop him.

"Yes." Bill said slowly. "There was something. I saw it." 

Dipper swallowed in panic. Before he came to Gravity Falls, he'd been teased for his birthmark mercilessly, and he wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. _Especially_ not with Bill Cipher. He opened his mouth to deny it, but at that second the bell rang, and Dipper didn't think he'd ever been this grateful. "Hey, would you look at that, It's time to go, I'll see you later in detention, BYE!" He rushed out of the office with Bill sitting there incredibly confused.

 

* * *

 

 

Mabel Pines was mad. Wait no, she was _utterly_   _pissed_. That described her better in her current state. And so was Will Cipher. "I can't believe he didn't even listen to me! That. Fucking. IDIOT!" She punctuated the last three words with a punch to the lockers. Which now had a dent in them. She and Will were sitting right by the office door waiting for their brothers.

"I can't believe Bill! Does he not have the decency to even _listen_ to me?" Will growled angrily from his place where he was sitting on the floor. "He usually doesn't listen, but it's never this bad!" He sighed and put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry Mabel. I didn't mean any of this to happen."

Mabel stared at the sweet blue-haired boy on the ground. "Don't apologize. You had absolutely nothing to do with this, and neither did I. I will make my brother say sorry to you, don't worry about that." She furiously turned to Dipper who'd just run out of the room. "DIPPER PINES! YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL I-"

Dipper sank down on the floor beside Will. "Will, I'm so...so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen, and I totally understand if you hate me now."

Will frowned and hauled Dipper up, protecting him from Mabel's glare. "It's not entirely your fault, and I think I can forgive you just this once. Bill has that affect on people."

Dipper looked up at Will unbelieving. "Really? You mean it?"

Will shrugged uncomfortably. "Well yeah, I mean...friends forgive each other, right?"

"Right!" Dipper aid jumping up. He hugged Will. "This won't happen again, I swear." 

"Why did you run out?" Mabel asked, narrowing her eyes at Dipper.

He swallowed. "He um...saw my birthmark." Dipper said, quickly glancing at Will.

"Oh." Mabel was silent for a moment.

Will however, was not. "What birthmark?" He asked suspiciously.

Dipper took a deep breath. "Swear you won't tell anyone?"

Will laughed, sounding strangled. "Who do I have to tell?" Dipper didn't look convinced. "I won't tell anyone, Dipper. I swear."

"Alright." Dipper said nervously. He glanced at Mabel, and when she nodded, Dipper slowly lifted his bangs to reveal the Big Dipper shaped birthmark. 

"Wow, I-Can I touch it?" Dipper nodded, feeling uncomfortable. Will's fingers felt smooth and cooler than rook temperature. Dipper found it oddly relaxing. "Wow, okay, Dipper that's-Wait a minute, _that's_ where you got your nickname, I thought your parents just hated you!"

"Yup." Dipper said, laughing awkwardly. "That's my amazing, totally hideous birthmark."

"What are you talking about? This is-this is beautiful! Do you know how rare it is to have something like this?" Will laughed.

"Apparently not very rare, because my Great-Uncle has six fingers."

Will was about to say something, when the door next to them slammed open, revealing none other, than Bill Cipher. He glanced suspiciously at Will, who was hovering near Dipper too close for Mabel's comfort. "Why'd you run out?" He directed the question at Dipper, by his eyes didn't leave Will's.

"Uh...because...I needed to tell Mabel something." Dipper tried to find an excuse, coming up with nothing.

"Uh huh." His gaze finally shifted to Mabel, and he seemed to be studying her. Mabel glared at him with the glare that she usually reserved for Dipper, but he didn't back down. If anything, he seemed to look more interested. "Well," he said turning to look at her brother. "I'll see you in the detention room. It's the one with my name on the door." He walked down the hallway, his footfalls echoing loudly behind him.

 

* * *

 

And sure enough, there was a door with Bill's name on it labeled Detention Room. "Why is your name on the door?" Dipper asked, walking in.

Bill, it seemed, had forgotten all about him, because he jumped almost half a foot from where he was sitting. "Because I'm here so often." He said, not meeting Dipper's gaze. He sat back down. Them he looked at Dipper, but the brunette didn't notice. "Why aren't you freaking out?"

"Huh?" Dipper said, leaning back in his chair.

"I would have expected you to be freaking out about being here." Dipper finally met Bill's gaze.

"Oh!" Dipper said, understanding what Bill was talking about. He grinned at the blonde. "Well, my mom always used to say that when you get good grades, you can afford to get in trouble sometimes." 

"What happened?" Bill asked, watching Dipper closely.

Dipper leaned back. "What are you talking about?" 

"You said she _used_ to say that." 

Dipper froze. This guy just couldn't stop, could he? "Nothing happened." He said swallowing the lump in his throat. He still didn't like to think about it. 

Bill looked away, and Dipper could tell that Bill didn't believe him. But it didn't matter what Bill thought. "Where did you get porky from?"

"Por-Oh! Um, funny story actually. At my old school, this representative came once, can't remember what for, and at the end of he assembly, we all had to say thank you. And I said 'thank you porky' because honestly, he looks like a piece of chicken. Like, you know the ones you see at the grocery store with the plastic pressed against them? That's what he looked like, and I felt so bad after I said that, but Mabel was laughing the whole time. And I think he heard me." Dipper smiled at the memory. "Yeah, he wouldn't look at me after that.

Bill laughed, he _genuinely laughed_ , and it surprised Dipper. Because he'd _never_ actually heard Bill laugh before. Not genuinely laugh. Never. Dipper found it...nice. No! Bad brain, very bad brain, you don't compliment the enemy. "I was a weird kid." 

"Still are." Bill chuckled, and the two of them fell into a silence. It wasn't as awkward as it was before, and it certainly wasn't comfortable, but it was bearable. After a couple of minutes, Bill spoke up again. "Your Great Uncle seems nice enough."

Dipper laughed. "He's the most illegal man you'll ever meet."

"I'm sure." Bill said, flashing a white-toothed smile.

"No, really. He's currently wanted for pug-trafficking." Dipper said. He looked at Bill pointedly. "You guys could get along great."

"He called me an asshole." Bill deadpanned.

"Hey, I said _could_."  

Bill snorted. "Will says that you guys once spent the night in the county jail. That true?"

Dipper chuckled. "Is Will always sarcastic?"

Bill glanced up. "Who, Will? Oh yeah, you don't know the half of it. He's always complaining about me."

"He does that a lot. And yeah, it's true." Dipper said turning towards Bill. And for a second, he stopped. Because it had just occurred to him how nice this was. Being able to joke around with Bill, and everything being normal for once, instead of being annoyed and agitated at everyone. He sighed. "I hate my life."

"And why's that?" Bill asked grinning. "Your life should be amazing. I mean, after all, I'm in it!" 

"Yes." Dipper responded dryly. "Because after they've seen Bill Cipher, their lives miraculously change for the better."

"Exactly!" Bill chirped. He looked at Dipper. "Will wants you guys to come over." He watched for Dipper's reaction carefully. 

"Me and Mabel? I mean sure, I gave him our numbers. I honestly would have thought you didn't want us to be friends."

For a second, Bill didn't respond, and Dipper realized that's he's said _us_ and _friends_ in the same sentence. Shit. "I'm not going to lie." Bill said evenly. "I'm not exactly thrilled. But...he's happy and I guess that's what's important, and um..." He glanced away. "Thanks."

Dipper couldn't believe his ears. "What?"

"Thanks. For uh, being Will's friend and all that fucking sappy stuff." Dipper gaped at Bill incredulously.

"Is Bill Cipher, _Bill Cipher_ , actually saying thanks to me? What! What is happening! Has the Earth stopped spinning? Is there an alien invasion! What?!" Dipper grinned.

"Alright, you can definitely shut up now." Bill said, leaning over and flicking Dipper's forehead. Dipper prayed that he wouldn't see his birthmark. When Bill leaned back, Dipper let out a sign of relief. 

There was a knocking on the door, and Dipper jumped. He's totally forgotten that there was a world beyond this room. Mabel stepped in triumphantly as the door nearly broke down. Will them stepped around her, and he glared at Bill. "Well...see ya." Bill said uncomfortably as he walked through the doorway, with Will right behind him. Dipper and Mabel could still hear their squabbling. 

"Will, don't touch me!"

"Well maybe I wouldn't have to, if you _didn't have walking speed of a fucking mango!"_

"Mangos _don't even_ _walk_!" 

"Exactly!" 

Mabel cracked a grin, until she saw Dipper. He was sitting on the desk staring at the door with an unreadable expression on his face. "Bro bro? What's wrong?"

Dipper just shook his head. "Mabel..."

"Yeah?" She looked at her brother worried. She could handle what he was about to throw at her.

"Bill's...he's not as bad as I thought he was."

 _Oh. She didn't know if she could handle this_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I um...changed the title of the work. Honestly, I like this name better than the previous title  
> And I'm also going to start posting longer chapters, since we've got the beginning down-pat (of that's a word)


	7. Mabel Juice & Marble Floors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can't force love, but you sure as hell can try." ~Mabel Pines
> 
> Dipper and Mabel go to Will's house, and Bill learns that sometimes you gotta listen to Dipdop.

Dipper Pines was having the time of his life. He was sprawled out across Stan's armchair, with an open bag of Chipackerz strewn over his stomach with a half-empty bottle of Pitt Cola. He a bright pink streak on his hair (due to Mabel's insistence), and was watching what may have been one of the worst horror movies ever invented. 

"Yo yo, bro bro. Hand me some Chipackerz." Mabel, who had a matching pink streak, said. She put her hand out and Dipper dropped a good handful into it. She stuffed them all in her mouth. "Tiz iz uh hooble moobie," she said, crumbs spraying from her mouth.

"Ew, Mabel! Say it, don't spray it. That's discusting!" Dipper said, cringing. "And I know. They're hilarious."

"True true." Mabel agreed, swallowing the crumbs that were left in her mouth.

Dipper was about to answer, when his phone vibrated on the dinosaur skull and lit up. He yawned lazily and reached for his phone several time without breaking his gaze from the TV before he actually got it. He held it up and squinted, trying to read. Since he couldn't, he thrust his phone at his twin. "What's it say?"

"It's Will." Mabel said reading the notifications. "He wants to know if we can come over tomorrow. What do you want me to say?" Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. 

Dipper frowned. "Tell him sure. We don't have anything else to do."

"Alright." Mabel agreed. "There, I told him." 

Dipper nodded gratefully. He glanced at his phone when it vibrated again. "Anything else?"

Mabel glanced back at the screen. "He wants to know the answer to the homework we got in third period."

"That can't be right." Dipper said scrunching up his face. " _He_ gave _me_ the answers."

Mabel snorted. "Gotta be Bill then."

Dipper hummed, but didn't say anything. He turned his gaze towards the television again. "Tell him to get his lazy ass together and do it himself."

Mabel snorted. "Done. And I added a unicorn emoji."

"Of course you did." Dipper said sighing.

 

 

* * *

 

"Alright, alright. I'm going to assign you partners now. Grenda and Candy."

"Yes!" Grenda said, smashing her fists on the table. Dipper looked worriedly at the cracks and splinters that were already there. He didn't know if the table could take much more.

"Corduroy and Soos."

"Yeah man!" Wendy said, pumping her fists. 

"Cipher and Dipper." 

"Woo!" Dipper cheered. He and Will bumped fists. "This is going to be great."

"Actually..." Dipper looked up at his teacher. "Your sister is with Will. You're with the _other_ Cipher."

Dipper froze. "W-what? No. No, you're joking. Right? You...aren't joking are you?" The teacher shook her head.

Dipper swallowed, his heart sinking. "Oh. Dang it." He put his head down on the table. "Hey Mabes, will you trade with me?"

Mabel laughed loudly. "You wish. You're on your own." She leaned over the desks fist-bumped Will while smirking.

"You mock me, dear sister." Dipper groaned.

"Yeah, I'm not thrilled either, thanks for asking!" Bill called out from across the room. 

The teacher rubbed her temples. "I hate kids." She continued to call out pairs. "Northwest and Gleeful."

"What! I don't want to be with....that!" Pacifica protested while Gideon stared at her. 

"Thank you. I appreciate that so much." He said dryly.

Paz shrugged. "It's the truth." Gideon just shook his head. 

When she finished assigning partners she sat down at her desk. "Alright, somebody pass out the papers. I don't care enough about your grades to do it myself. I'm only here for my paycheck. And partners, sit together."

Three minutes later, and Dipper and Bill were having a silent stare-off. ' _Your going to sit over here'_

_'No, I'm not!"_

_'I'm not about to fucking get up, so get your lazy ass over here.'_

Bill groaned and slowly made his way to where Dipper was sitting. "I just want to make sure that you know that I hate you a lot. And your hair looks ridiculous."

"Wouldn't have it any other way. And personally, I think you're just jealous that you don't have any pink in your hair." Dipper said smirking. "And I hope you know I don't apologize for that bruise." Dipper glanced at Bill's jaw and nearly burst out laughing. It was various shades of blue and green by now, and Dipper couldn't believe that he'd actually caused  that.

Bill clenched his jaw. "And I don't apologize for your leg." _Ah. So he noticed_. Dipper had been limping slightly and wondering if Bill had seen it yet. Apparently he had.

"Touché"

Bill smirked victoriously. "Alright asshat, let me see the paper." He attempted to grab it out of Dippets hand. Dipper however would not let that happen, and yanked it back towards him, resulting in a ripped paper. 

"BILL RIPPED THE PAPER!" Dipper shouted, while trying to keep the piece that he had.

"NO, YOU DID!" Bill attempted to wrestle the piece out of Dipper's hand.

"I DID NOT!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WOULDN'T LET ME HAVE IT!"

"WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO RIPPED IT OUT OF MY HAND!" 

"BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO ME!"

Mabel, who was sitting right beside them, sighed. "I don't know if this is a good idea."

Will shook his head. "If they start a fire, we're exchange students from Germany that speak no English and don't know them."

"Germany sounds nice. Why don't we go now? Get away from them." Mabel jerked her thumb towards her brother, who was now in a furious rock-paper-scissors match with Bill over who had ripped the paper.

Will rolled his eyes. "I swear to god, they should just get married now."

Mabel's eye lit up, and she shoved her hands over her mouth to herself from squealing uncontrollably. "Mabel. Mabel that was a joke." Will said, in a slightly worried tone.

"I know, I know. But think about it. Bill and Dipper. I can see it now."

"Yeah, so can I. Several trips to the hospital, super expensive medical bills, fires and law-suits. Sounds perfect." 

But Mabel just squealed. "It would be...SO CUTE! Just imagine what they're kid would look like! Maybe it would have Bill's hair and Dipper's eyes! Oh that'd be so cute."

"I...don't think they can have kids. And I don't think either of them is willing to try it out." He glanced at Bill and Dipper who were now engaged in an arm wrestling fight.

"I'm going to win." Dipper stated.

"No, you're not." Bill said firmly.

"Ya-huh."

"Nu-uh."

Will looked pointedly at Mabel. "See?"

"Ask anyone." Mabel said gleefully. "They'll tell you that they'd be a cute couple!"

Will groaned, but he accepted the challenge. He turned to Gideon. "Do you think that Dipper and my brother would be a good couple?" 

Gideon let out a bark of laughter. "Y'all fellers are insane!" Will mentally face-palmed at the accent.

"Who, them?" Pacfica asked. She looked at Bill and Dipper for a moment, before breaking her gaze away. "Was this Mabel's question?"

"Yeah."

Paz sighed. "Mabel gets her hopes up too high when it comes to matchmaking."

Mabel just pouted. "Aw, come on Paz! You can't force love, but you sure as hell can try!" Pacifica just rolled her eyes.

Will shook his head. This was going to be exhausting.

 

* * *

 

 

Dipper knew he was going to win the round of rock-paper-scissors, but then Bill demanded a rematch. And during arm wrestling when Bill was winning, Dipper had demanded a rematch. And it kept going like that all period. And throughout every other period that they had together. Which was the entire rest of the day.

"Mabel...our house is the other way." Dipper stated as Mabel started walking the opposite direction.

"I _know_ , dumb dumb. We're going to Will and Bill's." Mabel said, rolling her eyes. 

Dipper stopped. "Oh." He quickly caught up with his twin. "Why?"

"Don't you remember?" Mabel asked as she continued walking. "Will texted you." 

"Oh yeeaaaahhh. What about Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked.

"Told him we were going to the store and going shopping. They're having a sale by the way, so I expect that we'll go later. I need more yarn." Mabel said cheerfully.

"No wonder, with the rate you knit." Dipper said grinning. "You should just buy a sheep."

Mable's large eyes widened. "Ohmygod, I SHOULD! Then Waddles would have another friend!"

Dipper frowned. "I don't think Stan would approve of that."

Mabel snorted. "Who cares? It's us against the world, brobro. Remember?"

"Oh my god," Dipper said, shaking his head. "I can't believe you remembered that."

Mabel playfully punched his arm, but that didn't stop it from hurting. "Ow, Mabel! You're like...freakishly strong! That hurt." Dipper whined.

"You're just weak, Dippingdot. I'm the alpha twin. ALPHA TWIN!!!" Mabel yelled, running ahead. 

By the time that Dipper had caught up with her, she was already at the door. Dipper slid down the wall, panting hard. "I hate you." 

Mabel was about to reply, when she looked up at the house. "Wow..." 

Dipper followed her gaze, and his mouth dropped. Since when did Bill and Will live in a _fucking_ _mansion?_ It was roughly the size of the Northerst Manor, only black instead of white. "No way." Dipper said, his mouth dry. 

"What was that about the alpha twin?" 

Dipper jumped, and turned around to see Will. "God man, don't _do_ _that_!" Dipper protested. 

Will just smirked victoriously. "I was just about to make lemonade."

Mabel's entire face lit up. "I have the perfect recipe! It's so great, I call it Mabel Juice, just wait, it's so great, Dipper tell him."

"It'll fucking kill you, that's what it'll do." Dipper responded dryly.

"You're just weak." Bill stated. Dipper jumped when he noticed Bill, and whined pathetically.

"Everyone's trying to kill me!"   

"Can you really blame them?" Bill asked, wrinkling his nose. Dipper resisted the urge to punch him in the jaw again. And somewhere else where it was sure to hurt.

Mabel squealed, and looked at Will pointedly. "You see! This is exactly what I meant!"

Dipper and Bill looked at her confused, while Will just shook his head. "All I see are lawyers and lawsuits." Mabel glared at him.

"So, about that recipe?" Bill asked, glancing at his fingernails.

Mabel clapped her hands in front of her. "Yes, alright. Show me, TO THE KITCHEN!"

"You don't want to let her do that." Dipper said seriously, watching them tramp through the hallways. They were smooth, white marble, and Dipper wondered how often the twins slid on the floors with their socks. Dipper dropped his navy blue backpack on the floor next to Mabel's pink one.

"And why's that?" Bill purred. 

Dipper responded with a glare directed at the blonde. "All right, go ahead. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Bill smirked, and took off after his twin. "Watch me kid, I'm the champion."

"You're going to regret this!" Dipper called after him as he stepped into the kitchen. Once again, it took his breath away. It was quite possibly the biggest kitchen he'd ever seen, the only other one being the Northwest kitchen. Which was also huge. 

"Damn." Mabel whistled. "Is this a walk-in fridge? And freezer? This is great, Dipper think of all the ice cream!" 

Dipper rolled his eyes, while Bill looked at his brother. "You see Will! I told you we needed more ice cream! How am I supposed to live off of what we have?"

"Anyways-" Mabel cut in before Will and Bill started squabbling, "we need the ingredients."

"For what?" Bill asked curiously, as Dipper sat down on top of a large, black marble counter, Indian style.

"Forrrrr, MABEL JUICE!" Mabel squealed excitedly, clapping her hands. Dipper groaned.

Will glanced at him. "That bad?"

"Even worse. It's like coffee and nightmares had a baby."

Bill looked up confused. "But you always drink coffee." 

Dipper smirked. "Thank you for noticing." Bill flushed red. "And anyways, that's what Grunkle Stan always says. I swear to god, it's horrible."

"It can't be that bad." Will tried to reason.

Dipper snorted and leaned forward, closer to Will. "Tell that to me after you go to the ER." And Dipper was proud to say that Will looked a little more worried after that.

Bill snorted. "You're exaggerating." 

"Oh yeah?" Dipper asked, tauntingly. "Try it, I dare you."

Bill drew himself up. "Maybe I will!"

"Alright." Dipper said, leaning back. Bill seemed stunned by the lack of response, and stood still, until Mabel started yelling out ingredients.

"Alright boys, we need glitter, the sugariest syrup you got, plastic dinosaurs, and a hell lot more. Get moving." 

Bill and Will collected the 'ingredients,' and by the time they had a large pitcher full of Mabel juice, Dipper couldn't keep the full-on smirk off his face, Will looked like he was going to puke, and Bill looked like he was starting to regret his decision.

And Mabel of course, looked _ecstatic_. 

"Who wants to go first?" She asked, clapping her hands together gleefully.

"Nope." Dipper said, scooting back.

"Um, Mabel, maybe we should think this through, I mean, I don't really think it's healthy to eat that much glitter, and-" Will was interrupted by Dipper.

"Y'know Mabes, since Bill was _so_ _keen_ on trying some earlier, why don't you give him a shot?" Bill glared at Dipper with everything he had. 

"Asshole."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Dipper said, feigning innocence, but Bill thought he looked rather happy about the whole situation. 

"Alright!" Mabel said grinning. She handed him a glass of a bright purple liquid with numerous sparkles and toy dinosaurs in it. "You just watch Dipper, Bill's going to love it."

Bill glanced uneasily at the glass, and gulped. "If I die, everything goes to the cat." He pinched his nose and took a small sip, only to spit it out after a second. 

"This is _HORRIBLE_! How are you still alive? This stuff is from the deepest pit of hell! Oh man, I'm going to die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!" Bill started hyperventilating, and Will patted him on the back sympathetically. 

"Maybe we should leave it here for later." Will suggested, making it obvious he was planning on getting rid of the hellish liquid later.

"Course!" Mabel chirped brightly. "Don't want to down it all now, do we?"

"No we don't." Bill muttered staring at the glass with dear in his eyes. 

"And now you know, that it's always better to listen to Dipper." Dipper said wisely.

Bill just stuck out his tongue, and Dipper groaned. "That's so immature Bill!" 

He just humphed, and crossed his arms, looking away. "It is not!"

"Bill, you're the most immature thing to walk this planet." Will called out.

Bill turned to him betrayed. "Et tu, Will? Et tu?"

"Yup." Will said, unphased by Bill's horrible acting. 

Bill just pouted, and Mabel ruffled his hair. "Hey, you're kind of tolerable when you're not talking and I can't see your face!" Dipper pointed out, laughing. 

"That wasn't nice!" Bill huffed, the tips of his ears red.

"Mm. I could tell. Mabes, Stan wants to know what to tell Ford about why we aren't home." Dipper asked, checking his phone. 

"Shit." Mabel cursed. "I completely forgot about him. Tell him...that we're at Grenda's house, and you were waiting on me."

"Why are you lying?" Bill asked, leaning over to look at Dipper's phone. 

Dipper held his phone out of Bill's reach. "Alright. Done." He stuffed it back in his pocket. "We gotta go, _now_. Before Ford goes over to Grenda's and finds out we're not there."

Mabel looked at Will. "Will, I am so sorry, but we really have to go. I'll text you when we get there, alright?" 

"Yeah, but why? Are you not supposed to be here or something?" Bill asked curiously. 

"Um yeah. We're...grounded. We said that Mabel was going over to Grenda's for a school project and I went with her." Dipper said, but he didn't look Bill in the eyes. Or Will. 

"Um, yeah. Alright. Uh, come back soon?" Will said, picking up the Pines twins discarded backpacks off the floor, and handing them to the correct person.

"Yeah, yeah, of course." Mabel said hurriedly. She stepped outside and held the door open for her twin, who quickly joined her. "See you tomorrow and all that jazz, thanks, bye!" She let the door swing shut behind her.

 "Well that was dramatic." Will remarked staring at the door.

"Hey!" Bill said suddenly. His twin turned towards him. "You want some Mabel Juice?"

"You're sick." Will said, shaking his head.

"I was going to throw it out!" Bill argued.

His twin shrugged and followed him. "You seem disappointed." Will observed, watching Bill carefully.

"Yeah. I was expecting a little more out of the Mabel Juice." 

"Suurrrrreeee." Will said grinning.

"What are you implying?" Bill asked sharply.

"Nothing." Will hummed.

 


	8. Sugar & Nickels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper and Bill are forced to go to the grocery storez. Together. And Bill has serious problems with his loose change.

"BILL!" 

Dipper cringed as he heard the yell, and no doubt everyone else in the house heard it too. Mabel glanced over at the twins curiously, and then snorted. The Pines Twins were currently over at the Cipher's house (mansion). 

"What?" Bill asked, clearly annoyed. "I'm a _little busy_ right now." 

"You took the eggs!" Will snapped, irritated. He gestured to the kitchen behind him. "We have no more eggs."

"That's your fault." Bill said irritated. "Remember? You tried making an omelet and then it stuck to the ceiling?"

Will paused. "That's not tr-wait, wait a minute. Nevermind." He straightened up. "You need to get eggs." 

Bill glared at his brother. "Where's the apology? And why me? You're the one who used them all up!"

"Firstly, because to apologize you need to actually be sorry. Secondly, because I'm busy right now and you have way to much free time."

Bill huffed. "It's not my fault that you won't ever let me bake."

"Considering that you've exploded several microwaves, I think it is." Will said smirking.

Bill just huffed and stuck out his tongue and Dipper snorted. "So I need you to go to the store-"

"And Dipper needs to go with him, because he used up all of the sugar this morning." Mabel added cheerily.

"No." Dipper said glaring at his sister. There was _no way in hell,_ that he was going with this... _this hellion_ to the store. Who knew what kind of chaos he would cause.

"Yes." Mabel replied. She gave him a level-headed look that told Dipper that he was going to loose this battle.

"Never going to happen."

"It will happen." 

"Yes it will."

"No! It won't!"

"Why do you want me to go? You go!" Dipper asked annoyed.

"No." Mabel's aid crossing her arms.

"Mabel, you can't just _tell me_ to go to the store."

"Just go already!" Will said, frowning. "I need to talk to Mabel about ...an _idea_ she had a couple of days ago." 

"It's a great idea, you'll see." Mabel said rolling her eyes.  

"Yeah, okay. I think it's going to be a disaster." Will said sighing.

"What are you talking about?" Bill asked glaring at Will suspiciously. "And _I'm not going_ with Pinetree."

"Nothing." Mabel said, waving her hand. Dipper didn't look convinced. Knowing Mabel, none of her ideas were good. Or least, they weren't safe. "And you have to. Me and Will have something important to discuss. As he already said."

"Alright..." Dipper said, still seemingly annoyed. "Sugar and eggs. Anything else?" 

"Hmm." Mabel said tapping her chin. "I don't think so, but buy some more Pitt Cola for Grunkle Stan just in case." 

"Alright." Dipper said glaring at Bill. "You're paying for the eggs. I hope you know that." Because he wasn't going to pay for more than he needed to.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." Bill said rolling his eyes. Dipper continued glaring. He _really_ hated Bill. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"What's next?" Dipper asked.

"I don't know, check the fucking list." Bill replied.

"But you have the list." Dipper pointed out. Bill just shrugged. Dipper rolled his eyes, and snatched the list of of Bill's hand. He looked extremely offended. 

"Alright, aisle number six." Dipper said squinting at the plastic signs that told him what was in each aisle. He held the list back out towards Bill, who took it cautiously.

"My favorite number!" Bill said cheerily. He ran ahead and nearly ran into an older lady with a shopping cart.

"Bill! Watch where you're going!" Dipper exclaimed. He turned to the woman. "I'm sorry, Bill doesn't know anything about personal space."

"Says you!" Bill shot back. Dipper didn't reply. The woman looked at them as if they were crazy, and hurried out of their way.

"Great." Dipper groaned. "Now the elderly hate us."

Bill shrugged. "With a face like yours, I wouldn't be surprised."

Dipper's mouth fell open incredulously. "Fuck you." He said slowly, while walking down the aisle, ignoring Bill's calls of 'wait up!'

"That was a compliment. Your face is fucking great." Bill grumbled under his breath and he quickly caught up with the brunette. 

Dipper luckily didn't hear him. "Where's the fucking sugar? It's not here!" He exclaimed, growling at the stacks of flour.

"It's right in front of you, moron." Bill said rolling his eyes. He thrust a large bag of sugar at Dipper, who barely caught it with a surprised _'Oof_!'

Bill, who had already grabbed a large carton of eggs, because he knew that Will was going to make more omelets, and he knew, _he knew_ , that Will was going to fail, nodded at Dipper. "There's a box of Pitt Cola over there. Then we can leave and I can imagine sending you to Hell."

Dipper glanced at him unimpressed. "Thank you so much. I appreciate it, really, I do."

Bill glared at him and turned around. He walked towards the register and set down the carton of eggs. The woman behind the counter  raised her eyebrows once Dipper set his stuff down too. In the ten-and-a-half seconds that he was gone, Dipper had managed to also get a large bag of vinegar chips, a jar of pickles and a chocolate bar. Bill raised his eyebrows too at the Pines male too. Dipper just shrugged, responding with "What? I'm hungry."

The cashier just sighed and scanned the items. By the time that Dippr had already paid and it was Bill's turn, he was searching in his pocket for a nickel. 

"Goddamn it Bill! Just hand her a dollar! You don't need to give her exactly thirty-six cents." Dipper groaned. He glanced at the cashier. "I am so sorry. He always like this."

"That's not a bad thing!" Bill replied. He was digging around his pocket by now for a nickel. "I've got twenty-nine cents, just need a fucking nickel." He growled, glaring at the pocket.

"Well, get the nickel faster!" Dipper snapped.

"What the hell do you think I'm trying to do?" Bill hissed.

"I don't know, escape to Wonderland?" Dipper responded sarcastically.

"Get a little patience." Bill snapped.

"Get a metal detector." Dipper shot back. 

Bill just sneered at him, and mimicked Dipper.

"Hey! I don't sound like that!" Dipper protested, his voice cracking. 

"Um, sorry to interrupt, but...I need five more cents." The cashier said, looking between the two of them.

"Yeah, hold on, I almost got it." Bill said, checking his pocket once more.

Dipper sighed and slammed a nickel into Bill's palm. "You happy now, champ?"

Bill stared at him with a perplexed expression on his face. "Not really."

Dipper glanced at the chips longingly. "I just want to get away from you."

"Feelings mutual, kid." Bill said grinning.

"I'm not a kid, you're not even four months older than me!" Dipper growled. He grabbed the bags and walked out the door. Bill caught up with him pretty quickly. Which did not surprise Dipper. At all. 

 

* * *

 

 

Bill Cipher had not been excited to go shopping with his mortal enemy. If he turned around once, it was very likely that Dipper could pick up a butter knife he randomly found on a rack and stab him in the eye with it. But when he processed these thoughts to Will, he called him paranoid. Psh, Will was just naïve. But it hadn't been as bad as he'd thought it would be, unless you counted Dipper buying pickles. _Pickles_. Who even ate those? They were discusting! Apparently, Dipper also had no taste in foods, as well as fashion. 

Not to mention the fact that when they got back to the mansion, when the two boys walked into the living room, Mabel and Will were sitting on the large black couch staring expectantly at them. "What?" Bill asked, immediately weirded out.

"Nothing." Will replied. He held out his hand. "Eggs." Bill rolled his eyes, and plopped the carton of eggs on his hand.

"Alright." Will asked. "Who wants an omelet?" He stood up.

"Nobody." Bill said. "Nobody wants one of your omelets, because they're horrible." 

Will glared at him. "You just don't have good taste." 

Bill snorted. It wasn't his fault that his twin couldn't make omelets to save his life. "Tell that to the six cartons of eggs you've ruined. Along with the cat, who's had to eat the deformed omelets."

"Where's the cat?" Dipper asked looking around. 

Bill shrugged without looking up. "Somewhere around here. She always comes back." 

Mabel jumped up. "I want to see the cat! What's her name? Here kitty, kitty!" She looked around the room, as if expecting the cat to be sitting in a corner. 

"Her name's Brize. She usually shows up late at night." Will said, watching Mabel carefully. Bill glanced at him, but didn't question. 

"Brize." Dipper said thoughtfully. He glanced at Bill. "Didn't we learn about her in tenth grade? The one sent by Hera?"

Bill flushed. "That's where I um...got the idea actually."

Dipper laughed dryly. "You named your cat after a Greek gadfly. You're really original."

"Hey!" Bill defended. "It...it's a good name." He ignored the fact that his face was red.

"I didn't say it wasn't a good name. It is." Dipper said simply. During the whole exchange, Mabel and Will had been sitting silently, watching them. Now that it was silent, Bill noticed them, and felt embarrassed. 

"What?" His voice sounded strangely choked.

"Nothing." Will said smoothly. "Just...thinking about something." 

"I second that!" Mabel said cheerily. Dipper groaned. "I think about stuff all the time! Like glitter! And Smile Dip! And other stuff!"

Bill glanced at her alarmed. "Isn't that stuff banned?"

"Psh, nobody needs to know." Mabel said waving her hands. "I want to see the cat. Now."

"Well, the cat's not here. Now." Dipper mimicked. Mabel stuck her tongue out at her twin and Dipper retaliated by doing the same.

"And _you_ called _me_ immature." Bill said, sounding amazed. Dipper rolled his eyes, but didn't reply.

Bill slightly smiled and glanced at the clock. He nearly jumped at the time. "Are you guys going home or something? I mean, I don't mind Star being here, but Pinetree..."

"Aw, come on." Mabel said, winking. "You love us."

' _No kidding_.' Bill thought shamelessly. Will smirked as he'd heard. Bill suddenly wondered if twin telepathy was a thing they had between them.

"But yeah." Mabel continued, not noticing Bill. "We've got to go. Well, see ya." She tramped out of the house, with her twin trailing behind her. 

"Don't forget to choke on a grapefruit!" Bill called after him, which Dipper responded with, by sticking up both middle fingers above his head. "Love you too!" Dipper called back.

"Of course you do, I'm fabulous!" Bill yelled. This time, the brunet didn't answer.

When Bill turned around, he saw Will staring at him. "What?" Will didn't answer. "Is something wrong? Are my eyes red?"

Will wiggled his eyebrows. "Nothing." 

Bill felt his face heat up. "You're insane."

"Of course I am!" Will said smirking. "I'm related to you."

Bill groaned. "I would be offended. Would. But I'm not." 

 

 

 


	9. Lattes & Industrial Sparkles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper visits an old friend and Bill discovers that everything is not always what it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I had to change the previous chapters, because I can't have Wendy at their school, and that'll be really important later. And I took Soos out too, cause he's also really important.

Dipper slammed his fist down on the table. "Yes." He was grinning.

"Um, more like hell yes." Mabel said, also grinning. 

Stan sighed and glanced at the twins. "If you ask me, you both are insane."

"Runs in the family." Dipper stated, pulling out his phone. He glanced at the screen and put it on the table. "Alright. It's almost there...Starting...wait for it....wait....starting....right.....now!"

Dipper and Mabel both reached across the table to get to the bowl of ice. They slammed their fists on the table and put as many ice cubes as they each could manage in their mouths. 

"Insane." Stan said shaking his head. Dipper grinned wolfishly, or at least tried to. An ice cube slipped out and hit the table surface, and he quickly picked it up and put it back in his mouth. Stan raised an eyebrow, but he turned back to the newspaper. Mabel laughed, but an ice cube fell out of her mouth too, and she made a horrid sound, and one of he most dramatic faces Dipper had ever seen. 

Stan ignored for the most part. "You misfits are cleaning up after this!"

Mabel tried picking up the frozen cube, but it slipped out her fingers and landed on Dipper's lap. He jumped up and shrieked, his face displaying horror and a puffed out mouth, while Mabel gave up on trying not to laugh, and let the ice cubes fall out. 

Dipper laughed along with her, and spit the ice cubes back into the bowl, several of them missing and landing on the floor. "I win." He said smirking.

Mabel rolled her eyes. "Yeah yeah, bow down to the almighty noodle-armed Sir Dippingsauce." She mock bowed. Dipper grinned and nearly slipped on one of the many, many puddles of cold water. 

"Aw man." Dipper complained. "I just put on these socks yesterday!"

Stan grunted. "Get used to it, kid."

"Stanley!" Stan groaned. "Stanley, I need to ask you something." When Ford came up from the basement he took one look at the water on the floor and shot Dipper a disapproving look. "Dipper, clean this up." 

"What!" Dipper protested. "What about Mabel? It was her idea!"

Ford glared at him, and Dipper clenched his teeth. "Yes sir." He spat out mockingly. 

Ford was about to say something when Stan interrupted him. "What did you want, Sixer?" 

"Ah yes!" Ford said, fixing his glasses, seemingly forgotten all about Dipper. "I was going to ask you if you wanted to help me with one of my experiments."  

Stan sighed and glanced back at the twins. "Yeah sure. Just hurry up. Ghost turtle's about to start." He snorted. "The people in this town are so dumb." 

"Can't argue with that." Dipper muttered. He fished a rag out of a pile of towels and sat down in the floor, Indian-style. Mabel sat down next to him with a pink rag. "You need some help, bro bro?"

Dipper cracked a smile. "Thanks Mabes." 

She smiled back gently. "So, what are we doing today?"

"I honestly have no clue." Dipper shrugged. He wiped up the water on the ground.

"Oh!" Mabel said suddenly, throwing the rag down. "Wendy's back in town." 

Dipper raised his eyebrows. "Really? It's been a while since we last saw her." 

Mabel nodded. "You should see her." 

"Yeah an-wait. What about you?"

Mabel waves her hand dismissively. "I'm going shopping with Grenda. Candy's birthday is coming up."

Dipper nodded. "Alright." He said slowly. He stood up and dropped the rag into the sink. "Sure."

Mabel grinned. "Alright then. We know what we're doing today."

 

 

* * *

 Bill Cipher prided himself in being sneaky. This currently resulted in him sneaking off to the grocery store when Will was busy to buy a whole load of junk food. Just because his twin didn't approve, didn't mean that he did. He was whistling while looking between two choices. "Pitt Cola, or Cherry Cola? So difficult...so difficult...Ah, fuck it. I'll take both." He hefted both cases of sodas off the shelf and carried it to the checkout, whistling while he went.

He'd had his eyes closed for a moment, and ran into something about the same size as him. His eyes flew open to reveal none other than Mabel Pines. "Uh, sorry Bill." She groaned. She was on the floor and there was a pack of glitter rolling on the floor. 

He slowly stood up, wincing at the pain in his hip, and then offered a hand to her. "No problem. Happens with Will all the time." He glanced at the jar of pink sparkes that was currently in her left hand. "Um?"

"Oh!" She visibly brightened. "I'm making cookies!" Then she saddened. "I just...don't think that anyone else'll eat them. Stan says they're worse than Mabel Juice, Ford says it's scientifically impossible that anything tastes that bad, and Dipper says he's rather eat a squid stretched over a cactus."

"Wow, quite an imagination your brother has. I'll try them." Bill said rubbing his hip. 

Mabel smiled. "Really? Aw, you're a big softie inside, you know that? I think you just act the way you do to piss Dipdip off." 

Bill scoffed. "As if. I'm not a softie, I'm a...manly man."

"Mmhmm." Mabel said, but the tone of her voice told Bill that she wasn't convinced.

"I am!" He whined. Mabel patted his hair sympathetically.

"Alright then, softie." She glanced at the bottles of Pitt Cola and Cherry Cola that somehow were still in one piece. "What're those for?"

"Oh!" Bill said, picking them up. Mabel handed one to him. "See, Will has this _idea_ of eating healthier, right? Well, _the problem is_ , it's a _bad idea_ , because I _can't live_ without sugar. So I had to sneak here without him noticing and I have to devour all this junk before he notices. Because he will _freak out_." He took a deep breath. "And now, he wants to get rid of all the junk food and it's killing me, I'm being literal here, you see these hairs on my head? They're a a little less blond than the rest! He's _killing me_ , he _can't do that_!" Bill whined.

"Aw, poor Billy. Whatever will you do?" Mabel said patting his shoulder.

"I know!" Bill complained. "He's being mean, make him stop!"

"I'll call him when I get home." Mabel promised. She inspected the jar of glitter carefully. "Do you think purple would be better? I'm having doubts on pink now."

"No way." Bill said in disbelief. "Tough people wear pink." 

Mabel hummed. "Then I guess you know that Dipper's third favorite favorite color is pink." She raised her eyebrows.

Bill frowned. "That can't be right. He's not tough."

"He's a lot tougher than you think." Mabel said gently. "Sometimes I feel sorry for him, but I know he can get through it. I just wish..." She trailed off.

"Uh Shooting Star? You kinda went all dark and dramatic on me..." Bill said, noticing the sad look in her eyes.

That seemed to make her snap out of it. "Sorry Bill, forget I said anything." She said, smiling sadly. For a moment, she seemed a lot older than seventeen.

"Wait." Bill said pursing his lips.

Mabel looked at him. "Yeah?"

"What did you mean by...he'll get though it?" 

Mabel paused. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just...know that he doesn't have the easiest life." She turned and started walking away.

Bill nodded. "Alright, uh...don't forget the cookies!" He called after her weakly.

"I won't!" She didn't turn around, but Bill could hear that she was smiling.

By the time he got home, it was nearly dark. Since one can had spilt open, he had a plastic bag filled with Pitt Cola with him. He was about to the open the door, when it swung open to reveal a pissed off looking Will. Who was glaring at Bill. And the soda. "Shit."

 

 

* * *

 

"Well, here it is."

Dipper looked at the sign above the door. He was standing in one of the many downtown streets of the city. He and Wendy had agreed to meet at what she claimed was 'the best coffee place you'll ever be in, dude.' Dipper didn't doubt her. He was in need of good coffee. He pushed open the door and stepped inside the coffee shop. It have off a nostalgic vibe, and Dipper couldn't help immedielty falling in love with the place. It just seemed...homey. It even had beanbags and bookshelves on one side. It was everything that Dipper's little nerd heart wanted.

"Hey Dipper, dude!" Dipper turned, and saw Wendy sitting at a table in the corner. She waved at him and he hurried over, noticing that she already had two cups on the table.

"Wendy! I haven't seen you in...forever!" He sat down in one of the comfortable chairs and looked around. "So...this place, huh?"

"Oh you have no idea." She said chuckling. She slid one of the cups over to Dipper. He sniffed it curiously.

"Try it." She advised. "It's really good. Vanilla Heaven, one of my favorites."

Dipper shrugged and took a sip. It was warm and slightly bitter, but he could taste the milk and sugar. "This is...actually really good." He remarked, surprised. "I mean, I'm more of a chocolate than vanilla person, but..."

Wendy grinned. "So, tell me about everthing that's been going on." She took a large gulp of whatever was in her cup.

Dipper shook his head. "Oh god, uh, Ford and Stan are working on some sort of experiment as far as I can tell, We met a guy named Will, Mabel's trying to guilt me into cleaning my room, I got into a fight at school, let's see..."

"Whoa!" Wendy said, putting the paper cup down. "What?"

Dipper looked at her. "Hm? Oh yeah. So, according to Mabel, my room is too messy, and she's been constantly hinting at me to clean my room, but I've been ignoring it and-"

"No. After that." Wendy said. 

"Oh yeah." Dipper said scratching his neck awkwardly. "I um...may or may not have been pissed and got in a fight. Possibly."

"Dude, that's great! You're fighting back!" Wendy exclaimed grinning.

"Like I haven't before." Dipper asked dryly.

"No, I mean, you did before, but you actually hurt someone, and they won't bother you anymore! You uh...did hurt them right?" She eyed him.

"Uh yeah. He's still got a huge bruise." Dipper said. He couldn't help but feel a little proud.

"Dude, that's amazing! Who was it?" She asked, excited.

"Bill." Dipper said, watching her.

She visibly slumped. "Oh. Then never mind what I said about him not bothering you."

Dipper laughed. "I know, right? But I got kicked in the leg so..." He shook his head.

"But still!" Wendy was grinning and she ruffled Dipper's hair after lifting his cap. "Congrats man."

"Hehe, thanks." Dipper said blushing.

"So..." Wendy said eyeing Dipper. "You've grown."

"Yup." Dipper said, leaning back. He gestured towards himself. "I'm taller than you."

Wendy sighed. "I would argue, but you've got like, three inches on me. So, tell me about the fight."

"Alright, so Bill said something that kind of got to me and I may or may not have punched him. Maybe. Possibly. I did."

"And then?" Wendy promoted, putting her chin in her hands and her elbows on the table.

"And then...we got detention. But there was this one thing..." Dipper paused and liked st Wendy who was watching with interest.

"He...he seemed almost...nicer somehow. Like, he's trying to be nice for once. It that crazy?" He looked at the redhead anxiously.

"Well," She said slowly. "I guess not. I mean, has he been as bad as he way last year or before that?"

"Hell no." Dipper automatically replied. "No where near."

"Then I'd say he's trying to be nicer, he just doesn't know how. Either that, or he's just bored of you. Or maybe he's getting your guard down just so he can strike you." Wendy took another sip and frowned. "Damn. I drank all of it."

"Have mine." Dipper said absentmindedly. "Hey Wends...he almost saw my birthmark."

Wendy's breath caught. "He saw it?"

"Almost," Dipper said nodding. "He said he saw something on my forehead. I ran out before he could check. He suspects something though. I keep seeing him looking at my forehead."

Wendy whistled. "Dude, if he finds out, it'll be Piedmont Elementary School all over again."

Dipper shuddered. "That's why I hid it..his brother knows though."

Wendy liked up interested. "William? I've met him once or twice. He's a nice kid, nothing like his twin. But...he hasn't told anyone?"

Dipper shook his head. "Not that I can tell. We discussed it once, and that was it." 

She nodded. After that, they didn't discuss school or anything else related. They talked about renouncing Waddles and Gompers' wedding vows, and Wendy's new boyfriend (who Dipper was not jealous of), and Mabel's steady addiction to Smile Dip. Dipper was almost sad to leave.

"I'll see you sometime soon?" He asked.

"Sure man. I'll be here for at least another month." She winked. 

He nodded gratefully. "Thanks Wends. I'll see you later!" He waved and quickly rushed down the steet when he bumped into someone.

"Ow! Why is everyone running into me today?"

Dipper looked up and groaned when he saw Bill. "Why are you here?" 

"Because....I can?" Bill asked, raising his eyebrows. "Who is she?" He jerked his thumb towards Wendy, who was still waving. Dipper waved back. "Girlfriend?" He looked at Dipper and noticed the bags under his eyes, and remembered what Star had said.

"Ew. No. Absolutely not." Dipper said, immediately revolted. He may have had a crush on her before, but he had a sinking suspicion on why he didn't crush on girls anymore.

"So...you're gay?" Bill asked smirking.

Dipper sighed and pushed past him. "Go fuck a bush." 

"I'm not hearing a no!" Bill called after him.

"No!" 

"Oh." Bill said slumping. "Dang it." Dipper didn't hear him. Bill watched him carefully as he ran between the people on the street. "You will be." He murmured.

 

 


	10. Assclowns & Buttnuggets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill starts to realize what Mabel meant, and Dipper...well, he's just being insulting. Basically, a nothing chapter.

"That can't be right." Dipper remarked, as he watched Bill scribble something down in a piece of paper and slide it over to him. 

"Then you try, dickbag." Bill shot back.

Dipper smirked and crossed out what Bill had written, instead of erasing it. When he was finished, he slid the paper back to Bill. "You forgot the four, douchenozzle."

Bill paused and stared at the paper blankly. "Oh. That was all?"

"Yeah, I mean, you might want to work on your handwriting, it's horrible, but that's all." Dipper said. He leaned back and stretched and Bill eyed him suspiciously.

"My handwriting is better than yours, assbutt." 

Dipper raised his eyebrows. "There's one I _really_ haven't heard before."

Bill smirked as if it were something to be proud of, and Dipper rolled his eyes. "Now what? We finished in..." He slid his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. "Ten and a half minutes." 

Bill groaned. "Everyone else is just so slow." 

"Hey." Mabel said, wagging her finger from her seat across the table. "I wouldn't mind if a certain o-brother-o-mine would like to help a certain o-sister-o-his?" 

They had been assigned partners, much to Dippers dismay, (But not Bill's) to work on a sheet of paper with numerous questions form all subjects. Dipper stared at her, unimpressed. "Do it yourself."

"But Dipper! This stuff is _impossible_! I can't believe you, I made a whole gallon of Mabel Juice for you, and you won't even help me with one problem?" Mabel whined. 

Bill snorted. "You got those cookies I was promised, Star?"

"Of course." Mabel promised.

Dipper looked between the two of them. "You...you asked for the cookies? The...the cookies? You do realized that they're made of the same ingredients used for Mabel Juice, right? Holy fuck." He shook his head and laughed. "You're crazy."

Bill froze. "What? You didn't tell me what they were made of." He protested weakly. 

Mabel sighed as if it were obvious. "Well, if I hadn't of told you, then you wouldn't of wanted to eat them, thanks a _lot_ Dipper!"

"You're welcome." He replied dryly. Mabel stuck out her tongue, and Dipper retaliated by flicking an orange eraser at her her, which managed to get stuck in her hair. The brunette huffs angrily and attempts to try to untangle the long wavy brown-haired bush on her head.  She finally gets it out with a lot of ' _ow's_ ' and 'fuck, that _hurts_ ,' but she managed.

Dipper is watching her intently the whole time, and Bill is watching Dipper. He's still wondering what Star was talking about when she said; back at the store. Now, he's looking at the male twin more closely to see what he can find.

He can hear Will and Dipper arguing about the answers, but Bill ignored them. He's found out that Dipper has bags under his eyes, and is considerably paler than he was a month ago. But to be fair, so has everyone else, with the stress of finals and all that. But Bill has the feeling that it's not just the school stress. Dipper has always aced every test he's had, why would he start worrying now? Then again, Bill's seen seen him almost pulling his hair out before nearly every test more times than he cares to admit.

"Hey! You there? Pizza is extinct, I repeat pizza no longer exists!" Bill snaps back into reality when Will says something about pineapples on pizza, which will absolutely not ever happen, not in Bill's lifetime. 

"Don't talk about pineapple on pizza." Mabel shudders.

"What? That stuff is great!" Dipper exclaims, getting horrified looks from the other three. "That....that was a joke guys. Don't take it too seriously."

Bill breathes out a sigh of relief. "Phew, for a second there, I was really happy because I thought we had to get rid of you. But nope, you always bounce back and make me miserable!" He grins.

Dipper looks at him sarcastically. "That's right, my sole purpose in life is to ruin yours."

Bill gasped, and widened his eyes. "I knew it, i fucking _knew_ it, and you didn't listen, did you Will? Noooooo, _you_ said I was being paranoid, but guess what? _He just admitted it!_ Ha! I'm right, _again_!"

Will rolled his eyes and handed Dipper his and Mabel's paper. "Check these?" He asked hopefully. 

Dipper didn't answer but he took it and quickly scanned over. "Number sixteen."

Mabel took the paper and sighed, using the eraser that had found its home in her hair and quickly erased the answer. "Well then, what's the answer?"

"Four-hundred and twenty-seven." Bill said, not even glancing at the paper.

"Well damn. We got negative six." Will said staring at the white paper stumped. Mabel snorted. 

"I got this." She quickly snatched Bill and Dipper's papers out of her twins' hands crossing out their names, and putting her's and Will's instead. "Done." She truimphantly smacked a golden star-shaped sticker on the paper.

Dipper didn't do anything and just sighed. "You guys ever wonder why we're here?" 

Bill shrugged. "Well yeah. I guess it's because all the universes in our multi-dimension existence came together to let us be here. But honestly, life has absolutely no meaning and it doesn't matter if we die today or seventy years from now. Because one day everything will disappear and we will all be no more and everyone will have forgotten we even existed. But maybe, we're not even really here. Maybe, we're all just hallucinating all of this, or maybe we're already dead so-" Dipper interrupted him.

"Bill?"

"Yeah?"

"...I was talking about the classroom."

"Oh.Well then." Dipper didn't respond.

"Okay." Mabel said, breaking the awkward silence. She grinned. "Who wants to come over to the Mystery Shack this weekend? Anyone? Anyone? No, no? You guys want me to be alone then? Fine, but for the record, _rude_ and _offensive_."

"Mabel, I live there." Dipper said. 

"Um...I guess we'll go." Will said looking at his brother. "Right?"

"Uh, hold up. I'm not going! The old man'll try to scam me!" Bill snorted.

"Yes you are." Mabel frowned. "And he scams everyone."

"Yeah." Dipper chimed in. "He took my wallet. Twice. In one day."

Bill raised his eyebrow skeptically. "Aw, well protect you." Mabel said ruffling Bill's blond hair.

"I don't need protection, I'm a manly man, I told you this." Bill pouted.

"Uh, hate to break it to you man, but you _do_ need protection." Dipper said, a shit-eating grin on his face.

For a second, Bill had no idea what he was talking about until Will best out laughing, and Mabel smacked his arm. "Dipper!" But she was also laughing and Bill stared at Dipper incredulously. 

"Did you...did you just...? Oh my god. Oh my _fucking god_. He did not. _Tell me_ he didn't just make a sex joke." Dipper was still smirking at him and Bill glared at him. "Just for that, I'll take your wallet too."

"Uh huh, I'd like to see you try." The brunet said lazily. Bill glared harder.

"Great." Mabel said ignoring them. "So...you guys have to come over. Like, as soon as possible. Because Dipper is always a spoilsport."

"I am not!" Dipper said, looking offended. "I'm sorry if trying to break into the county bank to steal money for Smile Dip is too spoilsporty." 

"What?" Will said looking at Mabel. "Tell me you didn't."

"...oops."

Will groaned. "Mabel!"

"I can't help it! Some teenagers do drugs, and makeup, but I do smile dip. Just be grateful I don't do pug-trafficking, alright."

"There's always _that_ bright side." Dipper grumbled.

Will looked between them. "What...what's pug-trafficking?"

Dipper sighed. "Our uncle sells pugs."

"Illegally." Mabel chimed in.

Bill rolls his eyes. "And you say _I'm_ bad." He said to Will.

"That's because you are, assclown." Dipper said grinning.

Bill's mouth dropped open. "Will! Are you hearing this! That _buttnugget_ is _insulting_ my honor and pride! Will!!!"

"What honor, and you've got enough pride as it is, fuckstick."

Bill's golden eyes visibly widened. " _Will_!" 

Will was stifling his laughter, and even Mabel looked amused. "Well, he's not exactly wrong, is he?" Bill looked so betrayed, that even Dipper had to laugh.

"Alright, alright. No need to get all pissy, you're already there." Will said, calming down. Dipper however, was not. And Mabel wasn't helping.

"You guys are so mean to me! You can't do that!" Bill complained.

"Why not?" Mabel asked grinning.

"This is...this is...um, wait, I'll find something. How about...ah ha! This is a violation of school conduct!" Bill looked proud of himself and Will rolled his eyes again. 

"You see what I go through?" Will chuckled. Bill glared at him. "So yeah, we can come over I guess." 

Mabel clapped her hands. "Yay! Dipper, that means you have to clean your room."

Dipper gaped at her. "What?! They're not going in my room!" He looked at Bill and Will with a threatening glare. "You're not going in my room."

Mabel sighed. " _But Dippperrrr!_ Your room is horrible and it's so messy and-"

"Yeah, but it's _my_ room. If you want it clean, then clean it. And no, that wasn't an invitation." Dipper glared at her, and she sighed in acceptance. 

"You will clean your room." She promised. He just snorted.

"Is it that bad?" Bill asked, amused.

"Yes. It's that fucking bad. Now scram. I'm hungry." Dipper said threateningly.

"He's just grouchy." Mabel said, patting his head, and Dipper groaned.

"Let me die." 

Bill answered "Gladly" the same time that Will and Mabel said "No."

The two of them glared at the blond and he chuckled nervously. "I mean...no?"

"Better." Mabel said satisfied. "So, you guys can just come over whenever. We literally have _nothing_ to do on the weekends."

"Yeah, not since we got banned from the mall and put on probation." Dipper grinned. Mabel had wanted some very expensive yarn, which resulted in the Stan, Dipper and Mabel being banned from the Grvaity Falls Mall. Mabel had a very distracting personality, Stan had the materials, and Dipper had a plan. 

Bill stared at him. "You're weird."

"Look in a mirror, dickface." 

"Rude."

Dipper flipped him an offensive hand gesture and Bill mock gasped. "Fuck off Bill."

"Why? You love me?" Bill asked, batting his eyelashes. Dipper rolled his eyes. This guy was horrible.

"But seriously though...if you don't like my room, then get out of it." 

"But Dipper! Having a clean room helps with...you know. That stuff." Mabel argued, desperately. 

 _'No fucking way. Not in front of Bill_.' Dipper thought panicked, looking away. "We're not talking about this." Mabel looked like she wanted to say something, but she bit her lip. Bill, who had been watching the entire exchange, frowned. He wondered what he was thinking.

"Well," Will said breaking the silence, "can you give us the answer to number sixteen?"

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey, wait up!" 

Dipper paused when someone called his name. When he saw who it was, he continued walking, only at a more accelerated pace.

"No! Pinetree! Don't you _dare_ make me fucking exercise! You monster!" Dipper slowed down as Bill caught up next to him, completely out of breath. "Whew, thanks. That...that really took a lot out of me." He grabbed the water bottle out of Dipper's hand and took a huge gulp, ignoring Dippers protests.

"What do you want?" Dipper asked scowing. Bill noticed how he clutched the bottle tightly. 

Bill gave him a look. "Can't two friends just walk home together and discuss important things? Come on, sweetheart." 

"One, we're not friends. Two, we're not going to be walking home together. Three, I don't think you've ever even discussed an important thing in your life. And four, if you ever fucking call me that again, I will chop off your arm and and make you eat it along with bean soup."

Bill stared at him. "Wow. Feeling the love here."

"What love?" Dipper asked dryly.

"Exactly!" Bill chirped. "So, uh...how's life in Leprechaun Ville?"

"Pretty good actually. How's it up in Beanpole Country?" 

"Touché. That was a good one." Bill said impressed. Dipper smirked and bowed. "But really though...um..." Dipper gripped the water bottle tightly.

"I know what you're going to say." Dipper cut him off. "Ignore it. Just...it doesn't mean anything. Nothing at all."

Bill stopped and Dipper kept on walking. "Well, alright then." He grabbed the water bottle out of Dipper's hands again, this time ignoring his angry outbursts. He drank the rest of it and then handed the empty bottle back to him. "You uh...might want to consider getting a new water bottle. This one's empty."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Actually, I prefer babe, but whatever works."

Dipper glared. "Leave."

Bill put his hands up in a surrender-like gesture. "Alright alright. I give up." ' _Ish_ ' he silently added in his head.

Dipper paused when then got to the Mystery Shack. "Well, I'll see your horrible personality tomorrow, won't I?"

"You betcha, Liebling." Bill said winking.

"I know German, Bill." Dipper said raising his eyebrows.

Bill's grin fell. "Shit." Dipper smirked, and promptly closed the door on his face. "Well, there goes that plan." 

 

 

 


	11. Gold & Navy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill & Will go to the Shack, so does Paz...and yeah. Sometimes I have good summaries and sometimes my brain dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got two teeth pulled and they WERENT NUMBED ENOUGH! AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING! WHY?!?!?!?!?

* * *

* * *

"Hey honey." Bill said, putting an arm around Dipper shoulder.

"Hey person-who's-neck-I'm-about-to-snap." Dipper said glaring at him. Bill pouted.

"You're so mean to me." Dipper just smirked.

Pacifica grimaced and waved her hands. "Okay okay. Enough with the PDA."

Dipper glared at her. "Traitor."

She grinned smugly. "But really. We need to make a plan for this project, and why is Bill here? I thought you said you locked the door."

"I did." Dipper said groaning. He pinched the top of his nose, then slid his hands into his hair while rolling his eyes. "I don't know how he got in."

"I let him in." Mabel said plainly. "So here's how we're going to do this project, There's three parts, right? So me and Will will do pictures and graphs and coloring and all that artistic shit cause you all can't draw for the life of you. Dipper and Bill can do the writing because they're both freakishly good at that stuff, and the four of us will all help Paz figure out the presenting. That good?"

Dipper sighed. "No."

"Yes." Bill said grinning.

"No." Dipper glared at the blond.

"Sounds good." Will agreed. 

Dipper banged his head against the table. "I hate you all." 

"You shouldn't do that." Bill frowned. "It's bad for your skull and your brain."

"Well, it's not like it matters anymore." Dipper sneered. Bill bit his lip.

"ANYWHO." Mabel exclaimed loudly. She waited until everyone was looking at her before she continued to speak. "I was thinking that-don't give me that look Dipper Pines-you guys should come over to the Shack sometime."

Nobody said anything. "Guys. I need an answer."

"Alright." Bill said shrugging. His twin brother followed suite. 

"Paz?" Mabel asked.

"I'm already coming over." Pacifica said glaring at Mabel. Said girl just grinned sheepishly.

"Great. So everyone's going coming to the Mystery Shack today." 

"Nope." Dipper said, popping the 'p.'

"Aw, why not?" Mabel whined. 

"Cause. It's cleaning day." Dipper said absentmindedly.  

Mabel groaned. "Whyyyyyy?"

Dipper just blinked. "Because you always leave all your junk on the floor."

Mabel squinted her eyes. "Who told you?"

"Nobody." Pacifica stated. "We _see_ you do it." 

"Spoilsports."

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Welcome to the MYSTERY SHACK!!!" Mabel exclaimed, throwing her arms out.

"We've been here before." Bill said, looking a the sign. "By the way, the S is missing."

"Yeah..." Mabel said frowning. "It's been like that for a while." She walked in with Pacifica next to her, and Bill and Will trailing behind them.

"Wait."

Bill stopped and looked at Dipper who was tugging his arm. "What is it?"

He waited until his sister, Will, and Pacifica were out of earshot. "You uh..." Dipper bit his lip, uncomfortable. "You can't say that stuff."

Bill frowned. "What sort of stuff, sugar?"

"That sort of stuff." Dipper said. "Sweetheart, honey, sugar, don't call me that. Not in front of my uncle, alright?"

"...Sure. Why?" Bill asked, watching the brunet with curious eyes.

"Cause I said so. That's why." Dipper shoved past him and caught up with his sister.

Bill watched him for a few moments, until he too, caught up with his twin. "We're not done with this." He muttered, bending down to whisper into Dipper's ear. The brunet showed no signs that he had heard him, except for the clenching of his jaw. 

Mabel didn't say anything, but Bill knew that she heard. "Hey kids, what do you want for dinn-who're you two? I count em daily and there's only two, the occasional three." Stan squinted. "Right? Your parents didn't send more kids did they?" He paled at the thought.  

Will grinned up at the old man. Stan visibly relaxed. "Oh, it's just the weird blue kid..." Then he caught sight of Bill and groaned. "With his even weirder twin. Mabel, sweetie, I told you, Dipper doesn't _want_ any friends."

"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper protested, his face turning red. "I _have_ friends!" 

"Psh," Mabel said waving her hand and ignoring her brother. "Dipdop needs all the help he can get."

Stan grunted, but he didn't argue. "Alright, get away from the TV screen. I'm watching Baby Fights, and this is a good one!"

Dipper looked at his Great-Uncle in alarm. "Again? Isn't this a re-run?"

"Uh huh. There's nothing else on."

Mabel looked at him suspiciously. "Grunkle Stan! There's _always_ something on. We always make fun of everything together!"

"Yeah." Stan said frowning. "But I need an excuse not to pay the taxes so Stanford'll do em for me." 

"That sounds more realistic." Pacifica commented. 

"Ugh, she's here. What, come to insult my carpet?" Stan groaned.

Paz smirked. "No, the carpet actually looks fine, but if you wanted my opinion-"

"Which we don't!" Bill chimed in.

Pacifica glared at him. "You'd get rid of that blond over there because his horribly unkempt hair and his unattractive face totally clash with the walls and the flooring."

Bill looked offended. "Hey!"

"She's kind of right." Will pointed out.

"Will, we're _twins_! We have the _same_ _face_!"

"I'm okay with throwing him out!"

"Shut up Dipper!" Mabel said, but she was grinning.

"What!" Dipper protested. "She's right, his hair does _not_ match the walls." 

Bill looked at Dipper incredulously. "Thank you so much. Really, I can't show my appreciation enough."

"Of course you can, you can go jump off a cliff."

"Dipper!" Mabel swatted his arm, chuckling. "Don't be mean, he's sensitive."

"Why are you all so _mean to me_?" Bill asked.

"Because you're you?" Dipper guessed and Bill made an offended noise.

"I'm just not appreciated in my time." He muttered.

"Nobody appreciates you." Will said, patting his twins shoulder, who looked at him with betrayal in his eyes. Will snorted. "Stop being dramatic."

"Dramatic? Why, I never!  You wound me, dear brother!" Bill said dramatically.

Will rolled his eyes, and turned to Mabel. "Where's your room?"

"Whoa!" Dipper said. He glared at Will. "No way, buddy."

Will turned red. "Not like that! I meant for the art and shit!" Dipper continued glaring. "I swear!" 

"Dipper!" Mabel said, mouth hanging open.

Pacifica started cackling. "Oh my god, Dipper!"

"NO! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" Stan chanted from the living room. For a second, everything was silent until Dipper spoke up again.

"Yeah, good. Cause I'm coming with you." 

"Wow. Protective older brother much?" Bill commented, amused.

"Mabel's older than I am." Dipper said frowning.

"Oh." Bill was silent for a moment. "Protective little brother much?"

Dipper glared at his cocky-and-annoying-and-definitely-not-attractive face. "I hate you."

Bill smiled sweetly. "I wouldn't doubt it."

"Alright." Mabel said sighing. "Then you all come to my room-Dipper Pines, what did I say about that face?"

Dipper mimicked her under his breath and Bill grinned. Mabel had taken the attic, because she had needed room for all her art projects and whatever else she did with all the glitter in there, while Dipper had taken Stanford's old room, mainly because the old man was always in the basement. "Lead the way, Shooting Star." Bill said, bowing.

Mabel wrinkled her nose. "Isn't it you that's supposed to lead me? Why, I never! I ought to have you beheaded right now!"

"Mabel, you can't behead him." Dipper said stepping between them.

"Thank you." Bill said.

"It would be much easier to poison him, since he's so gullible." Dipper said sassily.

"He _is_ pretty gullible." Will commented.

"Why do I even bother?" Bill muttered. But even Will and Paz were grinning.

"Well then. Follow the most-awesome-person-ever." Mabel said. She started up the stairs with the other four following behind her. 

 

* * *

 

 

When she opened the door, Bill had expected a slightly smaller room with pink or purple walls with glitter and artistic crap on a desk. This was most certainly not the case. Her walls were covered in splatters of every color Bill could think of and there was a twin-sized bed in the corner, but there was no desk. The walls had random scribbles or sometimes even notes on them. There were flecks of silver and gold paint too. The ceiling walls were painted to look like a landscape, one side with stars, the other with a sunrise. There were flashes of glitter and paint on nearly every surface.

"Wow." Bill said looking around. It really was amazing. He took a step forward and hissed in sudden pain. He glanced down to realize he's stepped on a glue stick. "Fucker." He muttered, kicking the glue stick and watching it roll on the floor.

"Yeah, uh...be careful." Dipper said, skillfully avoiding a thumbtack on the ground without even looking. "She doesn't clean up."

"Like you do." She grinned, nudging her brother's shoulder and he grinned back at her.

"Like I would." 

"Alright." Pacifica interrupted. "Thank you so much for making us all feel so grateful for having a twin!" 

Dipper winked at her, and Bill felt something curl itself in his stomach. _'Fuck no, not yet!' That's like...stage three! We're only on stage one and a half! Brain! Make it stop!_ ' He thought desperately. 

"You okay?" Will asked, peering at him curiously. 

"I'm fine." Bill said blinking. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I'm not sure." Will said, looking at Bill. He cocked his head. "You'll tell me if anythings going on...right?"

"Of course." Bill said, starting to get worried. "Will, is something wrong?"

"No! I was just wondering." Bill didn't believe him.

He turned away. "Alright then. You, Dippingsauce-"

"Don't call me that-"

Bill ignored him. "Dippingstick, we need paper and a pencil to write with."

"Or a laptop maybe?" Dipper said shrugging.

"A laptop would work." Bill concluded. "You got one?"

Dipper smirked. "Wouldn't have said it otherwise. It's in my room."

"Great." Bill said smiling brightly. "Lead the way."

Dipper stared at him. "You're not going into my room."

"Dipper! Stop being such an ass and just let him into your room so you can grab your fucking laptop." Pacifica said. She sat down and grabbed a few strips of colored paper and threw them at him.

The strips rained down in front of them and Dipper groaned. "I swear to chuck, if we don't get an A Plus on this, I'll stab you." He glared at Bill. 

"Wow." He commented dryly. "Really feeling the love."

"There is no love." Dipper said, already halfway down the stairs. 

"Wait!" Bill helped. He rushed to catch up. "Alright then, your asshole-ness. Lead the way."

Dipper glared at him. "I hope someone stabs you one day."

"That's...very possible."

"I know." Dipper opened a door that Bill hadn't even seen. He stepped in and walked over to the other side, and grabbed a navy blue laptop that was the same shade as his walls.

The room was slightly smaller than Star's was, but Bill liked it, nonetheless. The walls were a dark, and navy blue with a window letting in bright sunlight between the shades. There was a desk and a twin-sized bed in the opposite corner that Star's bed had been. The floor was horribly messy, with clothes and books strewn all it. There was a bookshelf that was practically overflowing and papers tacked up on the wall with handwriting so bad that Bill couldn't read it. There was a bottle of something on the nightstand that Bill couldn't make out either.

"I like the painting." Bill said once they were back in the hallway.

"Huh?" Dipper asked. He turned towards Bill after he'd logged into the laptop.

"The uh, painting. Above your bed." Bill clarified.

"Oh! Yeah, I um...I got it from my uncle. Stan, not Ford." He ran his hand through his hair in an attempt to straighten it.

Bill noticed a curl that popped back up, refusing to lay flat. He grinned. "What?" Dipper asked. "Do I have something in my fac-wait, wait a fucking minute. What the hell did you do? Bill!"

"I didn't do anything, I swear." Bill said, still grinning. "I'm just happy."

"Uh huh. Happy because I probably have something on my face." Dipper said squinting at the screen on his phone. He stood still for a few seconds until he groaned. "What does this say?"

Bill took the phone from him confused. "It's Star. She's asking you why you haven't got your skinny ass upstairs yet."

"Tell her because her skinny ass kicked me out of her room." Dipper said, starting to walk again.

A few seconds later, Bill tossed the phone to Dipper, who caught it, one-handed. Bill whistled impressed, and brunet smirked.

"Dipper!" Pacifica said grinning as they walked back into Mabel's room. "We missed you! Give me a hug."

"What?" Then he noticed the glitter on her hands. "Fuck no. _No_. _Get away from me_! _Get away_!" Dipper said, backing away. "Mabel, do something!" 

Mabel looked up at her twin brother, shrugged, and went back to work. "Traitor!" Dipper spat as Pacifica have him a huge hug, getting glitter all on his hair and face.

"I don't know." Bill said gleefully. "I think you look better when something's covering up your face." That wasn't entirely a lie. He looked great either way.

Dipper squinted his eyes at him. "I'll get you."

Bill didn't realize what he'd meant until it was too late. There was a large gallon of industrial sparkes that Star had, _for some reason randomly sitting inside her room_ , dumped on his head. He gaped as his vision momentarily failed, due to the sparkles he'd gotten in his eyes.

"You...you _dick_!" Bill finally choked out. 

Dipper burst out laughing, with Mabel and Will following. Pacifica just wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Pink really isn't your color."

That just made them laugh harder, and after a few moments, Bill found himself laughing along too. He honestly couldn't remember a time he'd been this content. It felt nice.

"Alright." Mabel said, finally calming down enough to start talking again. "It's getting dark out. You guys want to stay or no?"

"No." Dipper said.

"Yes." Bill said. He smirked at Dipper. Bill Cipher was not going to miss out on a chance to possibly poison Dipper Pines in his sleep. 

"If you're sure it won't cause too much trouble, then yes please." Will said, looking grateful.

"Whatever." Pacifica said. She wiped her hands on Mabel's wall. Bill watched her out of the corner of his eye. 

"So...we need blankets and pillows and shit." Mabel said after a few minutes. 

"Yeah." Dipper agreed, but he didn't do anything. 

Pacifica frowned and dragged Mabel's comforter off the bed. "Fine. Dipper and Will can go get his covers and all that stuff that commoners use, while Mabel and Bill can get extras out of the closet."

"What about you?" Will asked looking around.

"What about me?"

Will shrugged and gestured for Dipper  walking. Bill watched them go, chatting mindlessly. When he turned back around, he saw Star staring at him. "What?"

"Nothing." She said, waving it off.

Bill frowned. "Where do I sleep?"

Mabel clapped her hands. "I was thinking that we could all sleep on the floor! Doesn't that sound exciting."

"Well yeah. If you're into having a sore back and not being able to sleep. It sounds fantastic!" Bill said, with mock-excitement.

"Good."

 

 


End file.
